amw | amotherworld

Books & Music

Kids Are Worth It: An Interview with Barbara Coloroso

November 4, 2010

by Christy Laverty

Barbara Coloroso is a world renowned speaker and author. She has penned several international bestselling books on parenting, non-violent conflict resolution, and school discipline. She was once a Franciscan nun but now lives with her husband in Colorado and she is mother to three grown children.

In her 30 years of experience she says she has made mistakes and learned a lot about being a parent. Coloroso says it is all about raising caring, responsible and independent children. Recently we had a chance to talk with Coloroso about parenting and the re-release of her 1994 book “kids are worth it!”

AMW: Talk to us about “kids are worth it!” and what it is like to have your book back in print again. Do you think the book is still relevant to parents today?

Featured

Should Bloggers Be Paid?

November 2, 2010

There has been so much talk lately surrounding blogging and brands, what services should be paid for and what shouldn’t.

In all honesty, I’m left scratching my head with all the different points of view!

Brands have now realized the power of social media and are using it to their advantage. But where do bloggers fit in?

I recently attended a conference with the hopes that I would connect with some great brands. And I did. But I was left feeling that the conference benefited the brands much more than the bloggers.

At the roundtable discussions, brands were focused on picking bloggers’ brains on how to help their social media campaigns, rather than brainstorming ideas on how bloggers and brands could work together.

I’ve also recently been in contact with a few PR companies and larger brands and have been left feeling disappointed. While some are open to ideas, I am still finding many to be focused only on offering content and/or giveaways. As soon as I respond with “I’ll send you my rates” or “compensation” is even mentioned, the door is quickly shut.

Why? Perhaps because certain brands think they can find someone else out there to do it for free.

Brands pay for traditional advertising such as print, radio and television and now websites. Unfortunately the lines are still blurred when it comes to social media and blogs.

Although I didn’t attend the Blissdom Canada conference this year, I followed the #BlissDomCanada Twitter stream and learned a few things.

The session I would’ve liked to attend the most was on monetization. One thing I picked up from tweets is if the return on investment is in the company’s direction, blogger should charge for the post. If the ROI leans on the blogger’s direction, then blogger would not charge.

Here is a brief list of what I’ve learned so far, whether it’s right for you or not, I think it’s a good list to start with:

Product Reviews:

The consensus seems that bloggers should not accept payment for reviews.

Sponsored posts:

Sponsored posts may be paid but should be disclosed fully in the post.

Giveaways:

It’s wonderful to get free product to giveaway to a lucky reader. Smaller giveaways may be simple to execute. But a good Public Relations company should realize the time and effort it takes to post and promote a larger giveaway.

Some say payment depends on the blogger’s status as well as the amount of work involved. If the contest or giveaway is elaborate, perhaps an administration fee is acceptable. Also, those bloggers with a higher profile may charge more.

However for such bloggers who are just starting out, and want to build readership, contests and giveaways attract readers and increase website traffic.

Also, sometimes it fun to giveaway something fabulous to your readers! Especially if the prize is worth it.

Promoting Events and Brands:

When a company asks you to tweet or post about a new contest, product, cause, new show, event, I’ve heard many say: don’t do it for free.

At the same time, I feel that if you believe in a product, cause or even an event that you love and feel passionate about, I don’t think there is anything wrong in promoting it personally. But when you do it as your brand?

This is where the confusion lies for me.

I guess if a larger company is looking to spread the word about specific information that will mostly benefit their brand, then compensation should be made.

I can see a problem arising if one blogger is promoting events and products without compensation while others do it for free; then it will really make it difficult for those who are looking to monetize their blog. The company’s return on investment is high while yours remains low.

Bottom line:

The bottom line is, if you get some return on your investment of time, resources, blog space, that is ultimately what matters.

I think every blogger should obviously decide… but then there is the whole factor of some brands realizing there are bloggers out there who will do stuff for free, which makes it more challenging for those who are actually trying to monetize their blog.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Christy @ImFreckles, who says:

“I believe there is value in our voices. Women bloggers are often referred to as influencers and if we have so much power to sway others then why isn’t that worth something more than a few gifts now and then. I think it needs to be a collective shift in thinking in order for it to stick. We as online influencers need to stick together, support each other and demand to be valued.”

Some informative links:

http://www.urbanmoms.ca/moms_the_word/2010/10/giving-it-away-for-free.html

http://www.shasherslife.com/2010/11/bloggers-cashing-in-blissdom-canada.html

http://www.5minutesformom.com/27081/when-and-what-should-a-blogger-charge-for-their-services/

Contest

Enter to Win a Johnson’s Baby Basket

November 2, 2010

Congrats to Jenny G. of Laval Quebec!

Enter to win this gorgeous Johnson’s Baby Basket!

The basket includes products from The JOHNSON’S® NATURAL™ line is the only line of baby skin products that is at least 98% natural with 100 years of baby care experience.

Enter to win – Canadian residents only – before November 16, 2010. Good luck!

cforms contact form by delicious:days

Celebrities

Hollywood Moms Who Have it Together and Some Who Need a Little Help

October 29, 2010

Here our are top three choices for Hollywood moms who have it together, and three who could use a little help (or a lot).

Have it Together

Angelina Jolie

Juggling six children, an actress and humanitarian, how does she do it all? Not only is this Hollywood star gorgeous and married to hunk Brad Pitt, Angelina seems to be a fabulous mother. Always seen with her children, she is definitely a hands-on mom to her kids along with their dad Brad. Seems like the perfect Hollywood family.

Reece Witherspoon

Reece seems like a normal mom, taking her son shopping at sporting goods stores and to and from soccer games. Despite her divorce from Ryan Phillippe, they both have an amicable relationship for the sake of their two kids, Ava and Deacon.

Gwen Stefani

Just look at this photo – is this not the coolest family?

Gwen Stefani and her rocker husband Gavin Rossdale know exactly how to be a pretty normal, down-to-earth family. Together they have two sons, Kingston and Zuma.

Gwen has put her career on hold since No Doubt’s reunion tour ended last summer to concentrate on being a hands-on mom, but recently she’s reportedly been back in the studio.

Gwen Stefani and family — Credit: Paul Hiffmeyer/Disneyland

Desserts

Phant-astic Halloween Cupcakes

October 26, 2010

Here is a simple vanilla cupcake recipe you can use to make these phant-astic Halloween cupcakes for your little critters this Halloween. These are spooktacular!

Phant-astic Halloween Cupcakes

2 cups all-purpose flour
Halloween cupcakes
1 ½ cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
4 egg whites from large eggs
½ cup shortening
1 cup 2% milk
2 large eggs
1 ½ teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pans with paper liners. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, shortening, milk and vanilla in a large mixing bowl. Mix at low speed for 2 minutes. Scrape bowl. Add eggs and egg whites and mix at high speed until fluffy and smooth, about 2 minutes. Fill liners ½ to 2/3 full of batter. Don’t overfill. Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean.

Cool 10 minutes in pan then remove, place on wire racks to cool.

Frost and decorate!

Butter Cream Frosting

5 oz butter (150 g) butter softened
1 cup icing sugar (8 oz)
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp hot water

Beat together butter and sugar in a stand mixer or electric hand-beater. Add vanilla and water. Beat until smooth and creaming. Makes enough frosting for 12 cupcakes.

Spiders

Make spiders by combining 2 ½ cups semisweet chocolate chips and ¼ cup milk in a glass bowl. Microwave on high for 1-2 minutes, stirring until smooth. Stir in peanuts or cereal and or chow mein noodles. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper. Stick on extra noodles for spider legs and chill. Top each frosted cupcake with a spider.

Ghosts

Melt marshmallow in the microwave for a few seconds and sculpt into a ghost shape. Once cooled, add facial features with black gel/icing and top cupcake.

Worms

Place a pile of black gummy worms on top of the cupcake.

Pumpkins

Add orange food coloring to icing and frost. Use candy or frosting to make faces.

Motherhood

Is It Dangerous to Swallow a Battery? Yes!

October 25, 2010

Last Tuesday, my son who is three and a half, swallowed a cell battery.

Like a watch battery, an LR44 is a standard type of 1.5 volt button cell alkaline battery, commonly used in small LED flashlights, watches and toys.

He was playing with a toy flashlight. I don’t know what he was doing but it happened very quickly. He somehow he took the toy apart, put one of the two batteries in his mouth and swallowed by accident.

He told me just after it happened! Thank goodness he’s old enough to know the danger and told me. I saw the toy and the other battery.

I called Poison Control to get some advice. While I was on hold, I quickly searched the internet and the consensus was that it would likely pass, but with a fear that with some kids it would get stuck somewhere in the esophagus or worse, in the stomach.

Stomach acids reacting with the cell battery could cause damage… like burn a hole in the body!

I was panicked but forced myself to calm down. As I suspected, Poison Control told me to take him to emergency where they would give him an X-ray at the hospital.

The waiting was excruciating. But because the Destroyer’s demeanor (he was bouncing off the walls), I was almost certain he would be alright.

Finally, after two hours of waiting, we had the X-ray done.

Immediately, we saw the image of the inner workings of his little body. And there it was. A shiny, white button.

Where was it located?

Thankfully at the bottom of his stomach, near the entrance to the intestines.

As the ER doctor told us, he would more than likely pass it through his poop. But in the event that it didn’t in the next few days, we would have to return for another X-ray.

The scary thought was that if he didn’t poop it out, this tiny little poisonous cell would remain in his body??? I was frightened that it would get stuck somewhere in transit and who knows what would happen.

He did a big poop that night and I searched but there was nothing to be found.

I had a conference all day Wednesday and wasn’t able to be with him to monitor his poop… and considering he had just done a large one the night before, I thought he’d be in the clear while I was gone.

My dad took him to preschool that morning. My son never needs to do a number two at the school.

Until this day. Of course! Murphy’s Law.

Well, my father “didn’t see” anything… wait another day, wait another day.

Thursday rolled around and lo and behold, my son did another big poop… but still no battery!

Had he gone on Wednesday morning and my dad didn’t see it?

I couldn’t take that chance in not knowing for certain.

I called his pediatrician and saw him that afternoon. When I explained the story, he looked worried.

The hospital should have done a scope to get the battery out.

Really?

I said it was already entering intestines, that’s why they left it there. But he would’ve dealt with the situation differently.

We did the X-ray and within minutes, the X-ray was clear. Big sigh of relief!

Thank God!

It’s funny how things sometimes work out… Had I called the pediatrician’s office and had the X-ray done there with results immediate on Tuesday, rather than having to go to the hospital, my son may have had to go through being sedated and then scoped.

So perhaps it was best that we had gone to the hospital and waited for that damn battery to come out the other end.

Thankfully, the Destroyer is all fine and will never, ever eat another cell battery again.

But please beware of these cheap toys with button batteries! They do pose a great danger.

Featured

Nanny Sharing: Tips and Advice from a Fellow Mom – Part 1

October 21, 2010

by Marianne Georgiou-Galberg

With all of the options of childcare out there, have you ever considered a nanny-share?

If you like the idea of having a nanny but don’t think you can afford the expense, consider sharing a nanny. Nanny-sharing is an increasingly popular childcare solution for many Canadian families. It enables two families to use one nanny and share the costs of employing the nanny between them.

Typically a live-out or live-in nanny travels each day to one household, or alternates if the families take turns hosting the children. Sometimes a nanny lives with one family and cares for the children of two or more families in that home.

Here are my tips for going through the process, some of which are based on personal experience as well as friends’ recommendations.

1. Partner with a family first and then find a nanny together.

Although this may seem like extra work and you may be tempted to just join another family who already has a nanny in place, partnering with a family before finding a nanny allows both families to be equal partners in a the nanny finding process and eventual nanny share. If you’re both equal partners, it means you both have equal say in what is agreed to and how things are managed right from the beginning with hopefully few surprises. I admit this is my bias. I’ve just had more friends share success stories in the former situation than the latter – but that’s not to say there aren’t successful nanny shares that started with a family and a nanny seeking another family.

2. If you do end up finding another family that has a nanny already, make sure you’re not being brought on board to merely subsidize that other family’s financial childcare situation. Sure that’s part of it – but it shouldn’t be the only reason why they’re seeking another family. Otherwise you may find yourself with little power in what should be a partnership. The flip side is that if you’re tempted to hire an amazing nanny first and then look for a family to nanny share later – make sure you can afford the nanny on your own. It’s amazing how blurry things get when money is your only motivator.

3. Have a back up plan if things don’t work out. Irrespective of how much you get along with the family you’re sharing with or you love your nanny – you always want to have a back up plan in case one family decides the nanny share isn’t for them. Make sure you put your child on home care agency lists (they often tend to have more flexible enrolment waiting periods) and day care lists. As great a nanny situation may appear to be you never know what may happen in the future and you want to always feel you have options for childcare. There’s nothing worse than staying in a less-than-desirable situation because you have no other options available to you.

4. Consider a back up plan if your nanny gets sick. It is normal for your nanny to get sick or to need time off. Life happens for everyone. What will you do if that’s the case? Does each family have flexibility to take time off work or do you have relatives who can pitch in? Are you willing to each take turns watching both children in cases where the nanny is away for more than one day? You’ll want to discuss this with the family. Additionally you may ask if the nanny has a back-up plan. Perhaps she’s friends with several nannies in the neighbourhood who can be vouched for who wouldn’t mind watching your child for a day for some extra money. If you know other parents on your street who also have a nanny, you may want to form a little network – where you agree to (with all the nannies permission of course) to help each other out if either of your nannies get sick.

5. When looking for a family to nanny share ask yourself the following:

a) Do you want the care to take place in one home or both? If care will be shared in both homes, you’ll need to have/acquire two of everything (including playpen for sleeping, highchair, double stroller, or wagon etc…) as you won’t want to move these items back and forth between homes.

b) What are your expectations regarding care? Do you expect the nanny to take your child out 2x a day, or are you content with a morning walk and some play time around the house after nap in the afternoon? Be clear about your needs.

c) What about naps? If the two children are on two different schedules your child may be home bound while the other naps and vice versa. Assuming children are similar ages this will usually sort itself out in a few weeks.

d) Do you expect the nanny to do chores or clean your home? Expecting her to tidy up or do some chores is one thing but if she’s watching two children you will need to set realistic expectations for what the nanny can do during ‘nap time’ so that it doesn’t affect the care your child is receiving. I know that it was impossible for me to care for my child AND prepare 3 meals a day, clean, iron, do laundry etc. when I was home. So make sure you enter into the arrangement with realistic expectations. Your nanny will be able to focus on what’s most important and your child will be happier for it.

e) Do you expect the nanny to make breakfast and lunch for both children? Or will you need to supply the nanny with breakfast/lunch each day?

f) Do you expect to share/agree to the vacation time taken by both families? Do you expect the nanny to take her vacation when you want her to take vacation?

g) What are each family’s expectations regarding engaging the nanny for after-hours babysitting? Does each family promise to pay the nanny for the extra time and provide a cab fare home if she’s babysitting late? You may wish to set some boundaries around how often each family will request extra babysitting. Keep in mind that when a nanny is staying into the late evening on a weeknight watching one child – both children will be affected by having an extra tired nanny watching them the next day.

h) What are the hours in the day you each require care for? If you’re both sharing care at the same time, at different houses but one family has a different work schedule than the other you’ll want to sort that out from the very beginning – or find another family that shares the same schedule as your family.

6. Ensure you capture everything on paper by writing up a simple contract agreed to between the nanny and both families. Get it signed by all parties. You may be tempted to have a contract specific to the nanny only – however it’s important to set parameters for what each family agrees to do or not do in the same contract or in a separate contract. This may seem like an awkward thing especially if you fear insulting the other family or feel the family is ‘nice enough’ – however it’s important you protect your rights for when the honeymoon period passes. You never know when a situation will go south, so following the adage ‘better safe than sorry’ is critical.

Part 2 of Nanny-Share Tips – The Contract

Marianne Georgiou-Galberg is the mother of one girl. She’s also a business manager for a Marketing Communications Agency by day and in her spare time volunteers as an assistant organizer for the West Toronto Families Meetup Group.

Health

The Baby Belly: How to Lose it!

October 18, 2010

by Julie Watson

After having your first baby, it sometimes takes a while to actually grasp the concept that you will eventually lose the “baby belly”. You will. After having your second, and not having already lost that baby belly…well, it’s an even further reach. Know this..it IS possible.

Once you put it in perspective (see my previous article “The Baby Belly“) your next step should be to actually implement some concrete strategies that will get you on the road to a successful de-throning of the “Muffin-Top”. Make no mistake though, it’s hard work.

Here are some key tips to get you started on your journey. Following this check list regularly will help you put the tips into motion, and give you motivation to keep up the hard work!

1. Water: Water is key to any weight loss, but particularly after having a baby, water helps reduce inflammation and flushes out toxins. Drink 8 glasses of water a day, and more if you are breastfeeding or beginning an exercise program. Tip: add a squeeze of lemon for flavor and as a digestion aid.

2. Restore your Core: Don’t go crunching your way to a hernia here! You need to begin an ab routine safely and effectively to restore the stretching and strain that your abdominal muscles have endured. Tip: Begin with Kegels, add in small crunches simply tilting your head, and work your way up. It’s not a race to the crunch line!

3. Lunge baby, lunge! Building those larger muscle groups will help you burn fat faster. Lunges, and squats, done a with perfect form at a higher level of intensity (faster) will have you burning it in no time! Tip: Get your form down first, with your front knee behind your front toe, then move into harder pace and intensity.

4. Meditation: Stress is a walking fat storage unit. The more stress you have, the harder it is to reduce fat, particularly around the mid-section (hello, baby-belly). Tip: Meditation, even for 5 minutes a day will help reduce stress, by exchanging the oxygen in the brain with fresh, clean, white energy. Think Yoga!

5. Nutrition: You’ve heard it before, but you still don’t believe it…Your food intake is 80-90% of your success. If you eat properly, (not frozen low fat dinners!!) choosing whole foods, in their most natural state, and managing your portion intake, you will be 80% of the way there. Seriously! Tip: Enlist a nutritionist to help get you started, and learn what is really “healthy” vs. just “low fat” junk. It will pay off in spades, when that “frozen yogurt” spare tire disappears.

You can get there. You can do it. With a dash of perspective, and toolkit in hand, you will find your way back to health & fitness. You may even find yourself in better shape than you ever have been! Stick with it, and get out your check-list! Your energy, strength, and self-esteem are all worth it.

Julie Watson is the owner of AfterGlow Health & Fitness in Toronto, for prenatal, postnatal and beyond. When not training, speaking, or writing about Moms & Babes, she apparently spends too much time on her computer, and does her best to listen to her 3 kids. Not necessarily in that order.

parenting

Baby Butt-Lers

October 13, 2010

by Kathy Buckworth

There’s a new industry that has emerged as an offshoot of one of the oldest professions in the world. It’s dirty, often takes place late at night, behind closed doors, and creates controversy in terms of what’s really right and what’s really wrong.

That’s right: Parenthood.

But fear no longer, because today it is recognized that just because you actually are a parent doesn’t mean you’re necessarily qualified to be a parent, or that you should be expected to take on said duties of being a parent.

Enter, the Baby Concierge.

When I first heard this term, I immediately conjured up an image of the gravelly voice, cigar smoking, diaper clad gangster baby we met in Bugs Bunny (Baby Face Finster, to be precise), cutting deals for Broadway shows, getting you in to the best parties, finding a real sweet deal on some electronics, all from the comfort of his padded stroller. But I did a little research and apparently I should have been thinking more along the lines of a Wedding Planner.

As the mother of four children, I know putting the words “Plan” and “Parenting” really only go together as a birth control strategy, but Baby Concierge services will try to convince you that they can take the stress out of almost everything baby related for you, right from the moment the line on the stick turns blue. From doulas to diapers, nursing to nurseries and post-partum to pre-school, they can find the professional product or service to make your entrée into the world of Mommyhood or Daddydom a piece of baby shower cake.

While I absolutely admire the intentions of these well-meaning service professionals to aid parents in their time of greatest need (and make a tidy profit as well, which as a capitalist I also admire), there are some moments I feel that every parent should experience for themselves in order to wear the title parent, and not just Chief Procreation Officer.

For instance:

• The absolute awe and wonder of seeing that babies can indeed get poo into the folds of their neck, without any special props or assistance, and the cleaning out of same.

• The discussion over whether the manufacturer’s “opinion” (otherwise known as instructions) are being followed correctly for the construction of the crib, change table and dresser which occurs organically and maniacally between Mom and Dad (there’s a special honour that goes to those who bought from Ikea, which is Swedish for “nice try”)

• Not having a defensible and professionally supported position against in-laws about why you do or don’t follow a certain feeding or sleeping schedule with the infant. Because it’s not the way they did it.

• Discovering that the stroller doesn’t fit in the trunk of the car because who would ever think to pre-measure that? The golf clubs (that you no longer require, FYI) used to fit.

• Putting the old ‘anyone can change a diaper, what’s the big deal’ theory to work on the new father of a baby boy. In his new suit.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for finding new, convenient and easy ways to do things, so perhaps I’m just a tad jealous these services weren’t around when I had a newborn. But in the spirit of growing and learning, I’m going to take a page from Finster’s playbook and find my own padded stroller to operate from. Minus the cigar.

Kathy Buckworth’s latest book is “Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay”, and is available everywhere books are sold. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com or follow Kathy on Twitter.

Featured

Is Nothing Private Anymore?

October 10, 2010

Is nothing private anymore?

Just this past week alone, we’ve seen tragedy among teenagers and scandals erupting among celebrities.

1. Rumors have been flying about Ashton Kutcher’s alleged affair with 21-year-old Brittney Jones who apparently has text messages to prove Ashton’s cheating ways.

2. NFL star and married grandfather Brett Favre allegedly left several MySpace messages and voicemails and lewd cell phone pictures to Jennifer Sterger, which are now public.

3. Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi posted a goodbye message on his Facebook page before taking his own life after his roommate secretly filmed him with another man in his dorm room and posted it live on the internet.

4. Karen Owen’s thesis-type Powerpoint slideshow which rated her intimate encounters with men on Duke University’s campus started as a joke for a few friends to see. But the list was forwarded to others and eventually was leaked online and went viral.

Bad press, damaged reputations, embarrassing details revealed to the public.

What is happening to our society? Lives are being destroyed… can we blame it on technology?

People are abusing technology and using it to threaten, bully and destroy others. It’s shameful. It’s become effortless for people to hide behind a computer screen to bully others.

Is this our new way of life?

The internet is not going away. So how do we adjust to this new way of living? Privacy is now a huge issue, as demonstrated in these last few weeks.

How do we protect our children? There are no regulations or restrictions online. As parents, it’s our responsibility to ensure that our kids don’t grow up abusing the power of the internet.

The most important lesson we can teach our children: don’t put anything up on the internet unless you intend for it to be distributed and seen by the masses. Remember that anything posted online can be used against you.