Guest post by Sherri Lee
I have been trying to write this article for days. I have been interrupted more times than I can count. I had decided that I was going to inspire readers with a piece about how a busy mother can still start a business and do it all. However, my feeling of exasperation made me realize that I needed to tell you a completely different story: the motherhood, a love letter.
The Motherhood: A Love Letter
The story of a mother who stands in the shower bawling her eyes out just so she can keep it together in front of her children. Sometimes, she pretends she needs to use the bathroom where she merely needs two minutes of peace to breathe. We lock the door, sit on the toilet, and breathe. We have all done it and it’s okay.
Motherhood is exhilarating and exhausting. Breathe momma, and do not apologize for those few seconds of peace. We all share that yearning for a few moments to ourselves. No one tells us that these little people will come into our lives and steal our hearts forever. We love so deep, so unconditionally, yet we wonder if we can make it through another day. The feeling of exhaustion is overwhelming, but we do it all with our hair in a bun and love to give.
The Motherhood feels like a burden sometimes.
The mothers who have come before us, they never speak about when the burden feels too great. I know it seems uncanny to refer to motherhood as a burden and it isn’t our little people or the snuggles we get. Rather, it is all the stuff that piles on our backs and slowly becomes such an enormous weight for us to carry. Those burdens can be what feels like the breaking point for many mothers. Society pressures us to get our “baby weight” off and get our figures back after giving birth. We see it in all the advertising where mothers look youthful and beautiful. Usually, they have on the latest fashions and their hair is done. We see painted nails and painted lips. We look at our leggings covered in some smelly substance and our stained t-shirt which makes us feel like a failure.
We are told we must breast feed all hours of the night because that is what is best for our child. Do not forget the nutritious meals three times a day and the healthy snacks in between. The dishes need to be done and the house must be cleaned. How does someone so small make so much laundry? We must consider the soaps we use and the creams we lather those beautiful babies in. Do not forget to read every label for sugar content, GMOs, and things I cannot even pronounce. Yes, motherhood includes all of these nuisances that can get heavy and feel so overwhelming.
Finally, we get those babies to sleep and the house is quiet so we tip toe to bed feeling absolutely exhausted. It is always now when we think we are finally in the home stretch for sleep that our partners nudge us because we can’t forget their needs. We are not pregnant anymore so surely, we are ready for a vibrant sex life again. These are the things we don’t talk about and these burdens are not celebrated in our society, but you can bet that every single mother has felt this way about motherhood. Some days it feels just too damn much. Momma do it your way, the way it works best for your family. Quiet your mind and stop listening to everyone else.
The Motherhood means celebrating the small wins.
Further, we celebrate the small wins when our children are little. The naps, the smiles, and the endless snuggles that always get us through those tough days. Sometimes we watch them sleep and we smile because they are so beautiful when they sleep. We look at our beautiful creations and feel overwhelming love that only a mother can explain. This is one of those intimate moments we want to bottle and keep for future when they are gone. During this snapshot in time we forget the difficult day we had and we just bathe in the precious feeling of motherhood.
I loved children before becoming a mother and I thought I had it all figured out. I was naive and there are so many lessons I have learned since becoming a mother. The most important lesson is that in the chaos and the mess lies precious moments. These moments are the foundation of motherhood. The small things become the most important things. Take the time to hear the story or lay on the floor and color. The laundry will wait.
Now momma, you are the sun and the moon for your child so just enjoy it. This stage in motherhood feels long but it will be over in the blink of an eye. Soon it will be a quick hug and your children’s friends will become the utmost importance for them. Let them grow, it means we are doing our job. They grow quickly and we look back questioning where the time went. We are left with the memories. We yearn for them to ask for just one more bedtime story, instead we are left watching the clock hoping they arrive home safely from their night out with friends.
We realize it is no longer about us, instead it is their time. We just hope that we have done our jobs and prepared them for the world that awaits. It did not take long for me to understand that being a mother now meant worrying about my children for the rest of my life. The burdens of motherhood change, but they stay with us forever. We hope that our children grow to be happy and fulfilled. So, when we wash the floor then they let the muddy dog in, or while we work for a short time and they decide to whittle wood resulting in a cut finger, we stop and wrap their finger, and kiss it better. These are the moments that frustrate us, but later become so important for us.
The Motherhood carries the weight of the entire family.
Mothers are the most inspirational people I know. They carry the weight of their entire family on their shoulders. The needs of each member of the family is an intimate part of every Mother’s Day. Mothers so often run the household. They fill the fridge, clean the house, pay the bills, and look after the physical and emotional needs of everyone. Mothers are amazing. Many mothers run businesses, go to school, or work full time on top of everything else they do for their families. Mothers are solution seekers that have this incredible drive to carry on despite the obstacles. So, this weekend as my daughter was ill again and I wondered how I could explain how I lost another weekend of writing due to a flu, I realized that in this moment nothing else should matter but cuddling my child and making her feel loved. These are the moments that we must work around because these are the times that our children remember and we can never take back. Not everyone will understand why it is so incredibly important to appreciate the simple things we do that make the world of difference for our children and in the end, bring us peace.
We fear the moment we will have to say good bye and hope that we have taught them enough to navigate the world. For now, we will be grateful for the precious moments we have with them each day, even the frustrating ones and the burdens they bring. In the end, we will be left with our memories so we need to make the time to make unforgettable ones because really nothing else matters.
Motherhood is not easy, but it is an incredible journey that only a mother can understand. To all the mothers out there you must know that we share your pain, your love and your deep frustrations and we stand together as a united wall of love embracing and encouraging one another. We inspire one another and those little eyes always watching us. We mothers are the foundation of our families and everything is about the moments we share,
In Love and Light,
