by Christine LaRocque
I’m a full-time working mom. I’m out of the home and away from my children 10 hours a day, five days a week. I choose to work for a variety of reasons that are complex and important to me and to my family. When I’m at work I obviously miss them, it’s difficult to be away from my children so much.
As hard as it is to be away from my boys, it’s also incredibly challenging to manage our time and various family responsibilities. While there is no specific formula to make it work, and I’m convinced that perfect balance is impossible, there are a few things I’ve learned that can help make a working mom’s life a little bit more manageable.
Here are the five P’s of highly effective working moms:
Plan
Organization is critical; without it everything falls apart. Weeknights are all about routine: dinner, clean-up, bath time, homework and play time and then prep for the next morning. I do a weekly meal plan so I know what to expect each night and can get all my groceries on the weekend. The goal is to avoid making unnecessary trips to the grocery store on a weeknight. I take out the kids and my clothes at night to minimize the morning rush and lunches are always made the night before.
Prioritize
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to do it all. So I pick and choose. That goes for the activities we sign the kids up for and the commitments I make for myself. Whereas I used to say yes to everything, I know have to think carefully through the promises I make otherwise I might regret over-extending myself.
In reality, I don’t think it’s an all or nothing or a choice of one thing over another. I think it’s all about moderation. Focusing on what needs to be done, doing it when it needs to, but allowing responsibility to slip when you need to so that you can regain your equilibrium or focus on your family.
Protect
I protect me-time, for quiet reflection and to enjoy my own hobbies and interests. It helps me to regenerate and to be able to keep going. But I also protect time for us to be together as a family, alone and doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company, free of distraction and responsibilities.
Be present
The time that I do have with my children between the daycare pick-up and bedtime, is limited and fleeting. I believe in the adage that quality is just as important as quantity so I try to make the most of that time by talking with them, giving and receiving plenty of hugs and cuddles and fully engaging with their activities as much as I can.
Make peace
Motherhood can be a difficult place. Add all the roles that we play, and it can be easy to become overwhelmed.The single most important thing I’ve learned as a working mom is to make peace with the fact that I won’t be able to do it all. I forgive myself the hard days, the frustrations and the insecurities and make peace with the fact that, for now, life is just busy.
Christine LaRocque is a communications professional and mom to two boys. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she reflects on life as a full-time working mom.
15 Comments
Love this article – a must read for working Mom’s everywhere. “Forgive myself the bad days…” I need to work on that!
Well said Christine – all very good points. As a working mom myself, I have to say that I subscribe to most of the above too, although I’m less capable in protecting the me time. That part usually lags behind on my priorities list. It’s something I should work on to make sure it finds its way back up so I’m able to feel more complete, which I believe is essential in being a better parent.
This is so true! I think a woman who doesn’t work can benefit from this as well. But yes, routine and planning help so much, and preserving a sense of yourself amidst it all. Great article!
What wonderful advice, Christine. As much as I loathe planning, it is the weeks that I think ahead that go the smoothest. I can’t think of anything brilliant to add to this list! You covered practical things, kid-focused things and mom-focused things all in one shot. Like Lucia, I adore the fact that you included forgiveness in there. Forgiving yourself for the bad days, for the struggles, for the mom you weren’t able to be. But also, forgiving your kids for the tantrums, the setbacks and the struggles that they, too, are facing each and every day.
Well written! Bravo!
Thank you for this reminder — I can’t even pick the best suggestion because I needed to hear them all.
Such a great post. I try to do all those things. There are days when I get stressed but I do know it is all worth it. These crazy times will end and then I will have all the time I need, and I will miss these days!
What a great article. Although I am a stay at home Mom, myself, I am able to take your points to heart. Planning out my week, scheduling everyone’s time has helped me run a smoother household. I definitely have to learn to say no in order to not feel over commited. Thanks for some great advice.
My working outside the home is a huge struggle these days because of my son’s reaction to us leaving every day. I’m constantly questioning the decisions I’ve made that lead me to this point. All I know is – whatever the job, including SAHMs – it’s hard being a working mom. There will always be a piece of me that doesn’t want to leave my child. Anything I can do to make that easier on all of us is worth trying.
Thanks for the insights.
Hit the nail on the head – for all five. Good reminders. Thanks.
Lovely … happy to hear your words here and totally agree with everything you say. xox
Christine – all excellent points but the one I think all moms need to focus on the most is the fact that we can’t do it all all the time and that it’s Ok.
I agree that planning is crucial and that coming to the realization that we can’t do it all makes a big difference.
Am a mumpreneur too! Definitely good points for working mums out there.
I am so glad I found this blog, because I have a real problem with mothers who don’t think they should have to work, even after the kids have started school!I have found in order to be a career mom and wife the woman has to be focused on kids not herself. Most of the SAHM I have found are very selfish and so concerned about “my time”. When you work for a living there is no time for ” my time”.
I think I may need to print this out and post above my desk at work. On the fridge and in the mirror too. While I’ve figured some of these 5 things out for myself, a daily reminder would probably do wonders for my sanity and self-esteem. Thank you!