working mother

by Christine LaRocque

I’m a full-time working mom. I’m out of the home and away from my children 10 hours a day, five days a week. I choose to work for a variety of reasons that are complex and important to me and to my family. When I’m at work I obviously miss them, it’s difficult to be away from my children so much.

As hard as it is to be away from my boys, it’s also incredibly challenging to manage our time and various family responsibilities. While there is no specific formula to make it work, and I’m convinced that perfect balance is impossible, there are a few things I’ve learned that can help make a working mom’s life a little bit more manageable.

Here are the five P’s of highly effective working moms:

Plan

Organization is critical; without it everything falls apart. Weeknights are all about routine: dinner, clean-up, bath time, homework and play time and then prep for the next morning. I do a weekly meal plan so I know what to expect each night and can get all my groceries on the weekend. The goal is to avoid making unnecessary trips to the grocery store on a weeknight. I take out the kids and my clothes at night to minimize the morning rush and lunches are always made the night before.

Prioritize

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to do it all. So I pick and choose. That goes for the activities we sign the kids up for and the commitments I make for myself. Whereas I used to say yes to everything, I know have to think carefully through the promises I make otherwise I might regret over-extending myself.

In reality, I don’t think it’s an all or nothing or a choice of one thing over another. I think it’s all about moderation. Focusing on what needs to be done, doing it when it needs to, but allowing responsibility to slip when you need to so that you can regain your equilibrium or focus on your family.

Protect

I protect me-time, for quiet reflection and to enjoy my own hobbies and interests. It helps me to regenerate and to be able to keep going. But I also protect time for us to be together as a family, alone and doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company, free of distraction and responsibilities.

Be present

The time that I do have with my children between the daycare pick-up and bedtime, is limited and fleeting. I believe in the adage that quality is just as important as quantity so I try to make the most of that time by talking with them, giving and receiving plenty of hugs and cuddles and fully engaging with their activities as much as I can.

Make peace

Motherhood can be a difficult place. Add all the roles that we play, and it can be easy to become overwhelmed.The single most important thing I’ve learned as a working mom is to make peace with the fact that I won’t be able to do it all. I forgive myself the hard days, the frustrations and the insecurities and make peace with the fact that, for now, life is just busy.

Christine LaRocque is a communications professional and mom to two boys. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she reflects on life as a full-time working mom.

by Sarah Carmichael

I have been conflicted about deciding to be a working mother or a stay at home mother since before I had my son. Even though I entertained the idea of working outside the home, I always knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to spend my days with my kids, teach them, feed them, and watch them grow.

When my son was 10 months old, my maternity leave ended and I went back to work. Six months later, my contract wasn’t renewed due to lack of funding. I was beyond relieved. At that point, I really didn’t think I would go back into the workforce. I remember thinking that I would never have to do another job interview. Naive, I suppose.

I didn’t expect to be sitting here today with multiple tabs open in my browser advertising an assortment of job opportunities, each simultaneously holding promise and dread. It has become painfully obvious that staying at home is longer an option for me, financially. It is no longer a choice. And so begins the soul-sapping process of searching for income.

Nothing seems to offer enough salary. At least, not enough to cover full-time care for my son. How do families do this? Child care is expensive! I went to an interview for one job and after doing the math, realized that an entire paycheck would go to child care. A full 2 weeks of work to pay for someone else to care for my son. As much as we need the second paycheck, I can’t get over that I would be working in order to be able to pay someone else to do what I want to do – be with my son and spend the little time with him that he has before he starts school. It just doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t make sense.

So, here I sit fully buried by this conundrum that so many parents face. How do I provide for my son while also giving him what he and I need most? Time.

I know that I am not the only person capable of caring for my son. I don’t deny that he could benefit from more exposure to children his own age. Admittedly, he could benefit a lot from that. I actually think he needs that. He is ready for that. But, not full-time.

What I need is a part-time job that pays enough to cover part-time care and then some. Do those kinds of jobs even exist? I have my doubts.

In the meantime, here I sit scouring the internet for the perfect job. The job I don’t want, but the job I need.

Sarah unexpectedly became a stay at home mom to her 2 year old son last year and had couldn’t be happier. She currently faces re-entering a world that she had hoped to leave behind. She blogs at sarahcasm.ca

The Five P’s of Highly Effective Working Moms