when mom gets sick the house falls apart

The viruses have taken over our home for the past six weeks. I’m done with winter! When mom gets sick, the house falls apart. I mean, Mom can’t get sick!

When mom gets sick, she doesn’t stay in bed from morning to night? No!

Business as usual.

Life is still business as usual. It doesn’t matter if we are coughing up a lung, we still take care of business. Even if we’re taking antibiotics, or puking our guts out… we’re still getting up from bed, making lunches and getting the kids off to school.

We stock up on a combination of throat lozenges, Advil and oil of oregano, and head to work.

Sure dads help, sure. Even for moms who have amazing, equal partners, there are just some things that only we can do. Dad is off to work and mom is home with the kids. Even when trying to get rest, kids rush to mom to read a book, cuddle, or check homework.

Moms never get a day off.

Instead, we trudge along, like the warriors and goddesses we are. Unless we are bed-ridden by doctors orders, we continue to keep the house running otherwise the whole house will fall apart.

I’ve been known to slap together a quick dinner, hunched over the stove wearing a blanket like a cape – more like a SuperMom cape. See, because the pain that moms bear – similar to the pains we felt during childbirth – are what gives us our tiger stripes.

Moms aren’t supposed to get sick! Somewhere in the Mom Hand Guide, moms are not supposed to get sick – they are now allowed!

The kids mean well.

For a few minutes, the kids will hover and want to snuggle with you because they know mommy is sick. Suddenly, the doorbell rings – the neighbourhood kids want to play. And they’re off! See ya, mom!

But… can you make me some soup?

I wish the kids could know how to make us chicken noodle soup from scratch. The pre-packaged kind just won’t cut it. I mean, we could provide our recipe, and attempt to offer detailed instructions. But there are too many steps and we just don’t have the patience! Can one of you kids just TRY to make us a pot of chicken soup?!? Look up a recipe on Google, or watch a how-to YouTube video!

No one knows where anything is.

Nobody else in the house knows where the thermometer might be. It would be complete sense for it to be in the medicine cabinet, but every time someone is sick, it ends up somewhere else and never back where it belongs.

Nobody else in the house knows where ANYTHING is!

“MOOOOOOOM, where is my favourite sweater? Where is my lunch bag? Where is the sugar?”

If you can’t scream back instructions, it would be best to write out a detailed to-do list for the rest of the household… along with a note to be placed on your bedroom door, or within the vicinity of your couch – Do Not Disturb – Go Away – Mom is Sick – LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

Milk it.

Even if you COULD get up, DON’T. Now is the time to test the waters and see how the rest of the house can manage on their own! Now is the kids’ chance to figure things out on their own, right? If you haven’t already, they will have to step up.

MILK IT as long as you can… the kids will eventually learn that the dishwasher won’t load itself, the clean clothes from the dryer won’t fold by themselves, and the oven will just magically pop out dinner.

Keep your butt on the couch or in bed, and watch Netflix all day… the rest of the house will figure it out.

Also read: When kids are sick, they only want mom!

by Christy Laverty

I have been writing a lot this past month about sickness. It seems every year since my kids started going to school September comes along and we spend weeks in our house sick. Runny noses, sore throats, and coughs are the name of the game. This year has been no different.

Actually, there was one small difference this year, the sickness started before September and the start of school. My oldest daughter and I were both very sick in August. We both ended up with bronchitis and were put on antibiotics and since then we have all been taking turns getting sick. My youngest daughter even ended up with an ear infection and she was put on antibiotics. And then I spent another week with a terrible cold, with a serious head cold and sore throat. I even took two days off work.

But here is the thing, there is really no such as a true sick day for Mom. Kids still need to be fed, dressed and cleaned. So when Mom is sick, who takes care of her? Most often there is no one to take care of her because she is too busy taking care of everyone and everything else.

So how does Mom stay healthy? There are lots of ways. It is important for moms to take care of themselves. We need to start taking care of ourselves. If Mom isn’t healthy then she can’t take care of everyone else.

“Moms are important role models to their kids especially their daughters; imagine if their daughters (after all Mom’s hard work of making sure she eats right, exercises, has a social life) follows in her footsteps and starts to neglect herself. How would that make mom feel? Most moms would never compromise their child’s health and well-being EVER”, says life coach Laurel Crossley-Byers.

There are few things that we all can do (many of which I know I should do but often forget to do) to stay healthy. There are three basics that I think are essential: get enough sleep, eat right and exercise.

Let’s face it, some days it can be a challenge to do all three of those simple, basic things. We should all be getting 6 to 8 hours of sleep each and every night. Experts suggest going to bed at the same time and/or get up at the same time. It can help you keep a healthy sleep routine.

Something else that can help is to unplug at night, leave the phone downstairs, turn off the TV or leave it out of the bedroom all together, and make sure your bedroom is a cool, dark den for you to be able to shut off your brain.

We all know eating healthy can lead to a healthy life. Make sure you are getting all your fruits and veggies, drink lots of water and try to keep the alcohol and caffeine at a minimum, especially at night. Check out Health Canada’s Food Guide for help deciding how much of everything you should be eating.

Last but not least is exercise (this is the one I struggle with the most). A little bit everyday helps. Take a walk at lunch, walk the kids

sneezing, coughing, flu, cold — Moms get sick too

to the park, ride your bike, there is so many things you can do. Check out ParticipACTION for lots of great information on getting fit.

OK, so now we have a few basic tips on how to stay healthy and we still fall victim to the dreaded virus that is swirling around the school. What now?

Well, Crossley-Byers says it is important to know when to ask for help. “Perhaps a generous neighbour, hubby, friend, parent or in-law can step in. I remember being so sick with the flu that my Dad drove my Mom to look after my two year old daughter. I had to have help because I was so sick. When the kids were much younger (mine are 12 and 16 now) there were times when Hubby took time off work if I was too sick” says Crossley-Byers.

It can be hard for moms to admit they need help and even harder for them to ask for help. It is important to surround yourself with good friends and family and a support network so that when you need someone to pick up the kids from school for you or drop them off at soccer you have a go to person.

And remember, return the favour. Other moms can be your greatest support. I know that I have depended on other moms more than once and I can honestly say they are lifesavers! I couldn’t survive without them. And don’t forget dad. Make sure that you are saying when you need him to step up and take more things off your plate. It is a partnership.

Great Eight Tips

1. Ask for help or enlist friends and family to find you help.

2. Establish what’s important to you that “needs” to be done. “No one will do it like you but any help when you’re sick is better than none”, says Crossley-Byers.

3. Focus on getting healthy not on what’s not getting done.

4. Let your body tell you when you need to rest and when you need to seek medical advice.

5. Maintain your yearly medical and dental check-ups.

6. Eat right. “Your eating habits are being picked up by your children even if you are feeding them”, adds Crossley-Byers.

7. Exercise. Getting active (whether with your children or not) is an important thing to model to your children.

Christy Laverty is a mother and an editor for a Toronto all news radio station. She also does freelance writing for several parenting magazines. Visit Christy’s blog where she updates the trials, tribulations, and fun of being mom of two beautiful girls.