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we don’t have enough sex

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Sex and the Modern Marriage: Can It Last?

by an Anonymous Mom

We hear all to often about how sex is one of the most important things in a marriage. But why it is still the major source of issues in most?

As I write this, I am in the middle of one of the worst points in my marriage. We are on the edge of separation; the edge of ripping our family apart and the biggest issue is sex. The lack of it and how unhappy my husband is…

You see we are like most couples in there 30s with young kids, he has a very successful career and I have a very successful business. We are busy, he is going here and I am going there. At the end of the day, okay really at the end of the week we realize we are like ships crossing in the sea. Between the kids, his commitments with work, traveling and his own personal activities he isn’t around most nights. The odd time I get out just adds to it, we are never together. Well unless you count the four hours we might actually be sleeping in the same bed or the weekend days when we are busy with household chores, family time activities with the kids.

So what is left as time for sex?

Is this what the modern marriage is like? Are we all too busy with all of life’s crap?

We argue about it all the time. He isn’t satisfied and wants it all the time. I get frustrated because he makes it out like it is my fault, sorry but I think you need to be around to get it.

Am I unreasonable to think that doing it in the middle of the night is a bit much? I am tired, I deal with the kids all day, I put them to bed although they don’t go and I am usually falling asleep before them at almost midnight. I am up every morning with them, I am tired, so much so that a Saturday night for me consists of falling asleep on the couch by 9pm!

Am I unreasonable to think that I would like my husband to actually want to hang out with me and maybe that might just make me want to get intimate with him?

Is there ever a common ground when it comes to sex?

Do some men just have an unrealistic view on what a married couples sex life is like? Does everyone have lots and lots of it and I am just a horrible wife?

I think for a man it is easy to get your wife in the mood. Cook dinner and do the dishes, tell her to put her feet up, let her sleep in, take the kids out and let her have a couple hours to herself or in my case maybe go to bed at the same time I do or actually want to hang out with me.

So here I sit, at a point in my life that the decisions that could be made are HUGE… there is a lot more besides just the sex issue.

As a woman and wife, do you just give them exactly what they want to keep them happy even if it means that you won’t be happy?