My eldest is turning seven soon… which means I have to throw a birthday party.

Why the lack of enthusiasm?  Well, planning a birthday party for kids is like planning a wedding.

When did it become so complicated and expensive? Do I need to take out another mortgage for these events? Parents spend too much on birthday parties for kids!

Mommywood types make it very difficult for the average urban (or suburban) mom to compete. Tori Spelling put a petting zoo in her backyard. The Cruise’s had a four-tier birthday cake. Britney Spears’ boys drove around in their own customized Ed Hardy cars.

So what does a commoner do? They throw extravagant birthday parties too.

They even have a reality show called “Party Mamas” featuring over-the-top moms who throw outrageously elaborate and pricey parties.

Crazy, no?  I’ve gone to parties where the parents appear flustered but they just suck it up, dropping hundreds (and those who spend thousands) of dollars on a kid’s birthday party. Impressive but who are we trying to please here? A two-year-old who just wants chocolate cake?

From clowns to face-painters, trampoline parties to indoor playgrounds… from princess themed to pirates… one mom tries to outdo the next in hosting these birthdaypaloozas.

And then there are those moms who have kids celebrating first thing in September and think they have an edge; they’ll be the FIRST to host a party that school year. Then every mom after that has to outdo the previous party! It must be bigger and better.

Does it get easier as the kids get older? Or do the parties become more of a competition once the kids start Grade 1? Is it just that these moms feel like they have to show they are the next best thing to Martha Stewart? Or is it the kids who suddenly turn six and want the huge birthday fiasco?

Whatever happened to making a cake from a box?  Streamers and confetti? After all, the kids want the presents… and cake. Chips and a Duncan Hines birthday cake will suffice. A quick 1.5 hour party where it’s a bit of play, sing happy birthday and out the door – with empty hands.

If guests are bringing a gift and I’m offering lunch, drinks and dessert, do I have to also give out loot bags? Isn’t the food and cake and balloons enough? Do we really need that extra pressure of shopping for dollar-store items for a dozen loot bags?

Seriously, these loot bags are like wedding bombonieres these days!  Do I need to make tags with decorative ribbon for these too?  Who has time to plan all these details???

What do you think about birthday parties these days – over the top or not?