I received an invite in the mail the other day to a family wedding – an “adult only” wedding reception.  I put it out there on Twitter to see what other people’s opinions are and what a response I received!

Most of the parents who responded said that they were just fine with it.  But a few replied that they wouldn’t attend if they couldn’t bring their kids.

Some couples don’t want children to attend their wedding reception.  Why?  Reasons can range from trying to lower costs by trimming wedding guests from the list, to simply not wanting to put up with potential crying or hyperactivity.

The debate on this topic can get pretty ugly. Some people argue that it is rude and improper to exclude the younger members of a family that is on the wedding guest list. Some insist that a wedding is all about family and the circle of life, and that eliminating children from attendance at the wedding is therefore inappropriate.

At the end of it all, a wedding is the bride and groom’s day and it’s up to them.

The best wording to use on an invite, to avoid offending anyone, is to have “Adults Only Reception” or “Adult Reception” printed along with the reception location and time on the invitation.

The other rule is, if you are excluding some children, the rule is that you must exclude all children. There must not be different rules for different people or some individuals will be deeply offended and hurt – and rightly so. The only possible exception to this would be any children who are in the wedding party.

But the jury is out even in this area. While some etiquette experts feel that it may be alright to make this exception, there is a stronger belief that if the reception is to be adults only, no children should be included as part of the wedding party.

Who knew a simple invitation would cause such a stir?

What do you think – is an adult only reception cool or uncool?

P.S. We are not going to this wedding because we don’t have a sitter.