When you become a new mom, you’ll want to lean on your friends now more than ever before. If you’re the first in your group to have a baby, you’ll want to meet some other moms like you—stat.
Oh no—memories of high school are flooding back! The jocks, the geeks, the popular group, the rockers, the punks . . . and now those are replaced with the granola moms, the baby-wearing moms, the helicopter moms, the tiger moms, the fashionistas.
These are labels we’ve created ourselves, as much as I dislike them. But the reality is that you will identify yourself with one of these groups more than others. You’ll be drawn to certain women because they have similar values, ideas, and thoughts.
Meeting new mom friends is a little like dating. We’re scared to make the first move. Say the wrong thing, and you’ll scare off a potential friend. Keep your cool so they think you’re someone fun to hang around with. And then the hardest part. . . asking for their phone number.
If you’re solo, the park is a great way to meet some new mom friends. At first, you may feel awkward trying to strike up a conversation. My first thought was, “well, these women probably already have a group of friends—they’re not looking for more.” The truth is, many of these other new moms are feeling just like you— looking for another adult to have a full adult conversation with. Baby talk can be fulfilling but let’s be honest, we need some grown-up stimulation too.
Join a mom-and-baby class where you can meet other new mothers. You’ll find comfort in talking to other women who are going through similar stages and challenges. Sharing stories and tips and coming to the realization that you’re not alone is so helpful.
Look online for local mom meetup groups. Similar to dating apps, there are apps to meet new mom friends too. It’s as easy as posting “Hey, I’m a new mom, looking for some new mom friends to go for walks and meet at the park. Message me!” I’ve seen this on an almost weekly basis on a local mom group I run on Facebook, and every time, there are at least a dozen responses from other moms looking for friendship too.
Ok, Now What?
Even if you do meet a bunch of new mom friends, it still can be challenging to find the right one or two. You may gravitate to moms with babies around the same age as yours who will eventually play together. Their naps may need to be around the same time, too, so you can actually coordinate time to meet.
What if you don’t feel like part of a mom club? While many commercials and YouTube videos encourage a unity among all mothers, the real truth is many of us prefer to surround ourselves with like-minded people. If you don’t find yourself fitting in to one particular group, then you may feel excluded. You may find you’re asking yourself, where do I fit in? The answer isn’t always easy.
Find a supportive group of other women who will take you as you are. The last thing you need is a group of judgmental women who will question every parenting choice you make. Friends are meant to uplift and enhance—not barrage and bring down.
I think all new moms are desperate to make friends and need to make a connection with someone who is going through a similar situation. Don’t be shy if you find another mom who you’re drawn to – go for it!