What happened to my angel? What to expect with the emotional changes during puberty
The attitude has started! Is your tween giving you attitude? Suddenly crying for no reason?
These are indicators of puberty approaching, even before physical changes happen. Not only do boys and girls go through the physical changes that come with puberty, they will also feel the effects of hormonal changes in their emotional state.
For girls, this happens between 7 and 14; for boys, between 9 and 15.
When puberty begins, the body starts producing sex hormones — estrogen and progesterone in girls and testosterone in guys — which cause physical changes in the body. But in some people, they also seem to cause emotional changes — the ups and downs that sometimes feel out of control.
The influx of these hormones also triggers abrupt mood swings and irritability. Add to the delicate state of emotions the fact that tweens are also trying to grasp all of the physical changes their bodies are going through, they have no control over them or their emotions.
You may see your daughter bursting into tears, having super-sensitive emotional reactions, attitude issues and moodiness, or your son might want to be alone – this is all normal behaviour.
The best way to deal with your tween boys and girls going through these changes is to do the following:
1. Be supportive and understanding. Set aside the time to listen to their concerns. Take the time to be a sounding board. Sometimes all your tweens want is for you to listen and not judge.
2. Give them some space and privacy. They will want the door closed and time alone to themselves – this is normal.
3. Still be firm and consistent with your parenting and discipline. You can be understanding to a certain point; but if there is bad behaviour, deal with it as you normally would.
4. Take a step back. Don’t take it personally – the hormones are taking over, your tweens are trying to regain some control over themselves as their bodies are changing beyond their control. They are also testing their autonomy – on the one hand, they feel like they know everything and want to be treated as a grown-up and the next minute, they are back to being a child.
5. Be patient. This too shall pass! You are still mom – while they go off to figure things out on their own, they will come back to you.
More resources:
Tips for telling boys about girls and puberty
When should you start talking about puberty?
What should I tell my daughter about her first period?
Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty.
1 Comment
All GREAT points… but 3 and 5 most important to remember! It’s the old… ‘When I was a teen I thought my parents were stupid… when I turned 21, I couldn’t believe how much they had learned!’ ha!