what to expect from puberty

What happened to my angel? What to expect with the emotional changes during puberty

The attitude has started! Is your tween giving you attitude? Suddenly crying for no reason?

These are indicators of puberty approaching, even before physical changes happen. Not only do boys and girls go through the physical changes that come with puberty, they will also feel the effects of hormonal changes in their emotional state.

For girls, this happens between 7 and 14; for boys, between 9 and 15.

When puberty begins, the body starts producing sex hormones — estrogen and progesterone in girls and testosterone in guys — which cause physical changes in the body. But in some people, they also seem to cause emotional changes — the ups and downs that sometimes feel out of control.

The influx of these hormones also triggers abrupt mood swings and irritability. Add to the delicate state of emotions the fact that tweens are also trying to grasp all of the physical changes their bodies are going through, they have no control over them or their emotions.

You may see your daughter bursting into tears, having super-sensitive emotional reactions, attitude issues and moodiness, or your son might want to be alone – this is all normal behaviour.

The best way to deal with your tween boys and girls going through these changes is to do the following:

1. Be supportive and understanding. Set aside the time to listen to their concerns. Take the time to be a sounding board. Sometimes all your tweens want is for you to listen and not judge.

2. Give them some space and privacy. They will want the door closed and time alone to themselves – this is normal.

3. Still be firm and consistent with your parenting and discipline. You can be understanding to a certain point; but if there is bad behaviour, deal with it as you normally would.

4. Take a step back. Don’t take it personally – the hormones are taking over, your tweens are trying to regain some control over themselves as their bodies are changing beyond their control. They are also testing their autonomy – on the one hand, they feel like they know everything and want to be treated as a grown-up and the next minute, they are back to being a child.

5. Be patient. This too shall pass! You are still mom – while they go off to figure things out on their own, they will come back to you.

More resources:

Tips for telling boys about girls and puberty

When should you start talking about puberty?

What should I tell my daughter about her first period?

Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty.

I can’t believe that soon enough, I’m going to have “the talk” with my son about puberty!

The first question is, when should we start talking to our kids about body changes and what they can expect to happen during puberty?

Our kids today are exposed to so much on television, magazines, music videos and the internet about sex and male-female relationships that they may already understand some “adult” topics. But talking about puberty is an important job for parents to do with their children.

Although curriculum may cover sex education in school, you may want to already be having the conversation with your children and answering their important questions. You can check with your Principal or teacher to see what exactly will be covered during the puberty talk but it’s helpful for girls to learn about the changes boys go through and boys learn about those affecting girls as well.

Your child may be sensitive or shy and may never ask you, unless you bring up the discussion with them first. Moms can’t avoid having the puberty talk with their daughters when they have their first period. But what about boys? They too are hitting puberty earlier than ever.

On average, girls begin puberty around 10 or 11 and boys at 11 or 12. However it’s normal to start puberty as early as 9 or 10 or as late as 15.

So when should we start talking about puberty?

It’s never too early to talk to your son and/or daughter about what to expect from puberty. It’s important to answer your kids’ questions about puberty with openness and honesty.

Experts recommend that parents should initiate the conversation. Although 8 or 9 may seem young, some boys and girls are already showing signs that puberty is around the corner. Girls’ breasts will first start to grow so when you notice your daughter’s developing chest, it’s a good time to start talking. For boys, you’ll notice their voices beginning to change or body hair appears.

Stay tuned for my next post about what you should be telling your daughter and how to make “the talk” more comfortable for mom and daughter, and read more tips about having the birds and the bees conversation.

Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty!