Last week, there was quite the outrage and controversy with respect to a post of a mother who admitted in her blog that she loved her son more than her daughter.
I won’t go into all the details of the post but there was one particular paragraph that left me feeling disturbed and quite sad, actually.
The responses to the blogger’s post were overwhelming. Some folks were understanding. Others were horrified.
Many said the blogger should not have published the post for the sake of her daughter, who may read her mother’s words one day.
Questions being hurled around: did the blogger think of the consequences of publishing that post? Did she imagine that her daughter may read her mother’s true feelings about her? Does she truly feel this way???
But it also triggered the question, what kind of privacy do we owe our kids?
Do we have the right to air out our every feeling, thought, emotion, experience about our children for the world to read, judge and comment?
What if what we write about them when they are too young to understand, comes back to haunt us when they are older?
It might.
It might not.
This puts a whole lotta power into the hands of parents, doesn’t it?
Some bloggers don’t post photos of their kids while others change their names to protect their privacy.
Others spill it all on the internet… because this is who they are. They are truthful bloggers who feel their writing is an art form, and art has no restrictions.
But is it for hits? Shock value? To build their name? Or purely for the love of blogging?
Would some things be best left for a personal diary, journal or even therapy?
What do you think? Do you limit yourself to the content you blog about?
11 Comments
Ah, this is something I’ve been contemplating for awhile now. How do I share my thoughts, feelings and lessons learned in a respectful real way, without it hurting my son or offending a reader because they disagree with my honesty? I don’t have the answer yet.
I often let my son read my blog, so that he can see what I’m sharing and how I’m sharing it. I don’t use our names and there is only one baby picture of him on there. So far he loves it and thinks it’s great that there are so many people reading it and finding it helpful. (He reads emails from readers too and loves them.)
I think at the moment the blog is a positive for us both, in an otherwise challenging period. Someday, however, he may change his mind about all of it and ask me to stop. I am taking it all one day at a time at the moment and appreciating the connection I have with other parents in similar situations (ADHD or food allergies or just plain parenting woes). But I never forget that the words I publish will be there forever and I take that responsibility seriously.
It’s very cool that you allow your son to read your blog. I’m always hopeful that my own posts will help others in some way.
I flubbed my first post..here’s what I meant to say:
It’s all about respect and this rule of thumb: Never write anything about anyone that you wouldn’t be okay with them reading.
I wouldn’t share anything about my kids that would embarress or upset them. If I was struggling with an issue that was personal to them, I would seek help through a more private venue.Also, I would never share anything they told me in confidence. Trust is SO important and I would never want them to feel like they couldn’t trust me.
I am still learning how powerful and far reaching social networking can be and what a huge responsibility it is. I can only expect my kids to make good choices if I do the same.
Thanks for the great question!
Thanks Marci 🙂 I agree, something in confidence should be kept that way. I’m a little unsure of what might embarrass them. A post about potty-training them might be cute when they’re young but should I be so concerned about it when they’re older, or will they not even care? I’m not so sure!
I was pretty shocked to read that someone said “THAT” out loud!! Wow – do people STILL not realize that the internet’s forever and those words can’t be taken back. I only have one so can’t be in that situation, BUT I HOPE I would never feel that way.
I rarely if EVER write about my kids…Not because I am worried about them reading or sharing too much…but because it’s dull as shit…
I live 4 kids every day…I don’t want to write about them nor do I want to read about others peoples kids. I have enough KID stuff going on here.
However you should never write anything your not ok with the person your writing about reading…or say anything about anyone you wouldn’t say to their face.
AMEN! I’m so sick of reading about other people’s kids. Seriously.
This is something I wonder and worry about a lot.
I love my kids more than anything and I want to protect, respect and honour them. My responsibility not to screw up or say anything to embarrass them. I potentially blow it practically every time I blog about life. There’s a lot of talk about authenticity, but it scares me.
I wrote a similar piece back in February for Man Of The House called “The Forgotten Second Child.” It’s all about how excited we are the first time milestones come around and how the excitement wanes for the second, third, fourth etc.
Here’s the piece:
http://manofthehouse.com/relationships/kids-family/forgotten-second-child-6a
I play favourites, I’ll admit that and I’ll have no problem explaining that to my sons when they’re older. A 4 year old is more fun to play with than a toddler, end of debate.
As for privacy about my kids online? They each have twitter accounts, facebook pages, flickr accounts, youtube folders and more. Welcome to the era of sharing, I’m giving them a head start.
I read this post. I guess she was too open about her life, which I do not see why could she not do. It was this blogger’s personal choice, not sure if it was smart though. I guess, she was honest, and some people did not like her reality. We can all choose what we read, and really, we do not have to read her post if we do not like like her parenting ideas. I LOVE both my kids to death! They are my world, and would never dream of saying that I love one more than the other, and I feel this way, and perhaps this mom really loves the one child more than the other than let her feel this way. Said, but let her feel this way.
To be a true mom blogger, I think you have to let it all out. The trials, the tribulations, the experiences. Howver, never ever in a million years would I admit to loving one child more than the other (other than in a psych’s office).
I look at a mommy blogger as just that. If you call yourself a mommy blogger and swamp your blog with prizes, draws, and twitter parties, then you fall under a completely different category called promotions. You’re using mommy as a tool to gain exposure.
However, I truly believe there’s no point in calling yourself a mommy blogger if you’re not going to share the experiences that could make a difference to another mom.