Date night!  Ah yes, a romantic candlelit dinner followed by salsa dancing.  Or perhaps you choose to snuggle up with your partner to watch the latest Will Ferrell sports comedy with a Starbucks double-shot non-fat lactaid latté. 

Better yet, you drop the kids off at the grandparents for a few hours of uninterrupted passionate love-making!

Hmmm, well… after years of marriage, things become… comfortable. 

Which is a nice way of saying that the thrill is long gone.

How do you keep the romance alive and kicking when your husband’s favourite hobby is to curl his legs up and hold a lighter to his ass when he farts? Not to say that it isn’t hilarious and you don’t find his silly antics amusing. But his creative gas-releasing talents can only take him so far.

Perhaps you’re not a romantic-comedy heroine either. Your husband will never let you forget that he saw everything in the hospital room and he even held your placenta in his hands for God’s sakes!  I mean, if that’s not love then what the heck is?

So how can you keep the romance alive in your relationship?  I asked a few Twitter moms what they do and here is what they said:

@linesbylyons says:

When my husband proposed, he asked me to be his “partner for life.”

As we navigate life’s milestones together, we maintain the romantic side of the partnership by making time to focus on each other – whether that’s snuggling on the sofa while watching television, planning a night out, or cooking a meal together.  We take time during the hectic family moments to kiss, touch or hold hands, acknowledging the love and attraction that still exists.

Oh.  And when he smiles, or I catch a glimpse of him, my stomach still flips like it did when we first met.   

@suburbanchicmom says:

After 6 ½ years with Mr. Wonderful, it’s not easy keeping the fires burning when everyday life gets in the way.  For us, keeping the romance alive means prioritizing and maintenance. We don’t do anything crazy we just make an effort and try to mix it up.   There’s something to the saying “Variety is the spice of life.” Date Nights are a must.  We also schedule in bits of quality time to dote on each other with massages, bubble baths etc… you get the picture.  Sometimes it’s as simple as spending time cooking or exercising together.  The key to keeping the romance alive is that we make each other a priority.  Some may say that is selfish…I think it’s necessary for our relationship to thrive.

@Bitchy_Goddess says:

Romance?  Puuulease!  The romance is pretty much gone so now it’s about getting some much-desired sex.  Honestly!  Sex is important in a marriage.  My man and I don’t get a chance to get it on often so when we do, we take total advantage.  That spontaneity is what keeps our marriage exciting and passionate.

Whatever activity tickles your fancy (and your partner’s), make the time and effort – your marriage counsellor will thank you!


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of, a leading lifestyle blog for women.

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