by Kathy Buckworth

“When does it get easy?” If I had a dime for every time a new Mom said that to me, a hopeful, somewhat desperate look in her red-rimmed, sleep deprived eyes…well I wouldn’t be getting excited over BOGO days, that’s all I can say.  Yes, there is no denying that having a newborn baby is one of the toughest jobs you’ll ever take on – physically, emotionally, spiritually – the burden of being responsible for a new human life while dealing with the fact that a long sleep for you is approximately 3 ½ hours long, can really take its toll.

It’s a really, really good thing that babies are just so darn cute.  They redeem themselves over and over again with just the smallest smile, movement or gurgle.

Teenagers, on the other hand…well let’s just say it’s a really, really good thing we’ve already invested about 15 years in them when they start making us wish we could just give them back.  Personally, I’m too old and tired to start fresh with a new one at that point.

Teenagers are not cute, very often (unless you are also a teenager and you’re looking at a picture of Justin Bieber).  What teenagers are, according to them, is very knowledgeable.  About everything.  Particularly those things they have zero experience in. These things include but are not limited to:

• How to drive. Before they have ever taken a seat in the driver’s side of a car. The only thing worse about the totally inexperienced teenage driver telling you how to drive, is having the newly licensed teenage driver point out your alleged bad driving habits. (“Just because everybody rolls that stop sign Mom…”)
• How to discipline their younger siblings.  Due to their complete lack of parenting experience they are total pros at telling you how to motivate and teach their younger brother about how whining will not get them everything they want. (And I’m sorry but in the case of your eight your brother, it mostly works. He’s my fourth and the rest of you have worn me down.  You have no one to blame but yourselves.)
• What to cook for dinner so that people (i.e. THEM) will actually like it. I’ve been at this meal preparation game for a long time, but apparently all I’ve learned how to do is to make food which is “not good”. It’s fun to see them operate under the assumption that I actually care if they like it.
• What an appropriate walking (versus driving) distance is.  According to a teenager, it is totally reasonable to ask for a ride to the high school which is 10 minutes walk away. On a sunny, dry day.  And any attempts to school them on your history of an hour long walk through a snowy suburb of Winnipeg is dismissed as “folklore” or falls into the “sucks to be you” information pool.
• How to dress.  “Are you going to wear that today? Just asking.” is apparently not a statement that one should get upset about hearing. They are, after all, “just asking.”  Sheesh.

So, when does it get easier? In my experience, it’s not the age of the child that makes any difference at all in terms of the “ease” of going through a particular phase with them.  It’s more directly correlated to something more simple than that.  For once, it’s not about them…it’s about you.  I’m much more receptive to their particular brand of advice when I’m holding a glass of Chardonnay in that bad driving, poor cooking, ridiculously dressed and generally inappropriate hand of mine.

Kathy Buckworth’s latest book, “Shut Up and  Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay” is available everywhere. Read Funny Mummy every month and follow Kathy on Twitter .  Visit www.kathybuckworth.com

by Maria Lianos

Now that summer is officially here, we need to remember keeping our children safe.

In the United States, a child goes missing every 40 seconds.

In Canada, 150 children will be reported missing today.

These are staggering numbers. 

As all parents know, every second counts when it comes to finding the child and the initial response is crucial.

Florida resident Zephora Haddon is a mom expert and co-founder of Our Child Safe™ (known as the Amber Alert Registry™).

Our Child Safe™ and the Amber Alert Registry is recognized as the leading source for protecting children before a child goes missing, runs away or has an accident in the United States. It can save critical minutes to initiate an immediate response from local authorities.

This cutting edge, web tool is powered by parents and allows them to update their child’s profile at any time with no cost. It contains their child’s latest personal information (height, weight, photo, medical issues and more) which parents can give to law enforcement officials immediately when a situation arises. This allows them to print a flyer of the missing child or get the information to the media within minutes of notification– thereby saving critical seconds to initiate an appropriate response.

Zephora is working with schools, families, and PTA’s across the country to keep kids safe in an emergency or abduction. Her proactive system is a valuable tool for parents to have their child’s current vital information at law enforcement’s fingertips if an abduction or runaway occurs.

Subscribers to this registry pay $19.95 a year, with $4.95 for each additional child in the household. It’s a small price to pay for peace of mind knowing thorough preparation is the critical tool in successfully dealing with life’s unexpected circumstances.

Our Child Safe™ has partnered with hundreds of PTA’s, schools and non-profit organizations in the Florida region and are expanding throughout the United States area. Their fundraising efforts have raised residual funds and give back 25% to the schools. They are also endorsed by sheriffs and medical experts across the country.

For more information, visit www.ourchildsafe.com

 Other helpful websites:

Missing Children Society of Canada

Amber Alert