by an Anonymous Mom

What am I supposed to be doing with my life?  I sit here, questioning the choices I’ve made, the opportunities I’ve missed, the path I could have walked upon.  My future lies before me yet in it, I cannot see what I am doing.

This year has been such a standstill.  No movement it seems… unless there is a greater movement going on.  The calm before the storm.  Perhaps all the preparations are being made for what is to come. All is being put in proper place for what is about to happen.  I feel like I’ve worked so hard but I’m still waiting for something to happen.

That “waiting for something to happen” is stopping me from living my life now.  And yet I cannot help but fast forward my mind to think about the future and what lies ahead.

I feel like I need to have a purpose, a reason for being.  Now I’m talking about my professional life.  My children give me the greatest joy and my job is to be a good mother to them.  My husband relies on me for strength and support.  But what about “me”?  What is my purpose?  I know it is not only to support my family.  There has to be more.

Or is there?   Is this my role… the only role that I was born to do?  To be a good mother and the perfect wife?

I may sound negative but in the past, it seems everything I had tried, ended in failure.  I’m finally starting to see a glimpse of hope.   All I know is that I have no choice but to embrace that feeling and believe that I’m moving the in the right direction.

Do you ever feel this way?  That there is more that you crave other than being a mom?