“Wow my sister got really tall! What happened?”

My boys are almost 10 and 8 and they are starting to ask a lot of questions about puberty. Their older cousins are going through it – and they have questions!

How do you explain to a child who still loves cartoons and playing with stuffed animals about “grown-up stuff” like their sister’s bras and pimples?

What do you tell boys about what’s going on with their sister and/or friends and cousins?

Well, it’s a conversation you have to have not only with your pubescent daughter but also with her little brother! It’s important to let children know that the changes in their body are normal and they can come to you with any questions. The last thing you want to do is look and sound uncomfortable when your children come to you for advice.

Why are his sisters and cousins going through body changes at different times than boys?

Here are some answers you can provide your curious boys.

1. Girls may start puberty before boys do. They are going to grow taller probably before boys in their same class do. A girl’s puberty starts with breast development which can happen anywhere from age 9 to 14. About 2 years after breast development, a girl can expect her first menstrual period. Two years after that, she’ll have reached her adult height and will stop growing taller, signalling the end of puberty.

2. Boys begin puberty about a year or two after girls, with a normal range of 10-17 years. The first visible sign of puberty in males is an increase in testicular size. Boys continue to grow for about 6 years after the beginning of puberty, about two years longer than girls.

3.  Tell your son that her body is changing and that she is developing breasts and hips – like her mom – as she is looking more like a woman. After that, she’s going to experience menstruation – having a period – which is completely normal and what every girl/woman goes through. The reproductive system – what happens when you’re a woman and you can have babies – is going to start working. If your kids want more information about how it works, tell them! If they have more questions, it doesn’t hurt to be scientific about it if they ask.

4.  They can also know that she may start to have pimples, backaches and cramps as she goes through puberty. Girls will also be hormonal and emotional so there will be some non-physical changes (more about that next post). Boys can be told that their sisters (or cousins) need some space and understanding.

5.  Talk normally about puberty with your kids – you don’t want to make a huge deal about all of these puberty changes because your daughter (and son) is probably already self-conscious about the changes herself.

More resources:

When should you start talking about puberty?

https://amotherworld.com/main/health/when-to-start-talking-about-puberty/

What should I tell my daughter about her first period?

https://amotherworld.com/main/parenting/what-should-i-tell-my-daughter-about-her-first-period/

Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty.