Talking to your daughter about menstruation is a necessary part of helping her make the transition from little girl to young woman. While you might feel uncomfortable discussing the female reproductive system with her, it’s a conversation – or several – that needs to occur.
But before you can talk about menstruation, it’s important to have a good understanding of how the process works.
It’s a good idea to start talking about puberty early. When you see the first signs of puberty, that’s the time when you want to start mentioning that her body is starting to change, and that menstruation will occur next – a natural change that her body will make as she becomes a woman.
Here are some tips as you’re talking to your daughter about her first period:
Have several ‘talks’
It might be overwhelming to have just one “talk”. If you start having conversations months before her first period arrives, she’ll be able to absorb all of the information easier.
You can ask the school or teacher if they are going to be covering adolescent health topics in class. If they will be discussing puberty in health class, it’s a great way to continue the conversation at home. Ask what she’s learning and if she has any questions about it.
The Always brand, in partnership with PHE (Physical & Health Education Canada) and Ophea, provides hundreds of thousands of curriculum supporting guides, resources and sample kits to teachers across the country. If your daughter’s teacher doesn’t currently have resources available, he or she can easily order these materials online, free of charge.
Know the basic facts
You can simply explain that a woman has a period (menstruation) monthly. Having regular menstrual cycles is a sign that your body is working normally. It prepares your body for pregnancy each month with various phases and hormones.
First phase: Day one of a menstrual cycle begins when your period arrives. Within hours of starting your period, your estrogen levels will slowly begin to rise.
Second Phase: The follicular phase is when the hormone estrogen causes the lining of the uterus to grow. This lining starts to develop to receive a fertilized egg for a woman who is to become pregnant.
Third Phase: Between day 12 to 16, a tiny egg will release from one of your two ovaries to the nearest fallopian tube which then travels into the uterus. This is the ovulation phase and it’s the most fertile time to get pregnant.
Fourth Phase: The luteal phase is the latter phase of the menstrual cycle when the main hormone associated with this stage is progesterone, which is significantly higher during the luteal phase than other phases of the cycle. Then progesterone levels drop, causing the lining to shed as a new menstrual cycle starts.
Know the answers to common questions
There will be many questions to answer but here are some of the common first questions she may ask.
How long will my period last?
It varies for each girl, but some have their period for 3 days and others have it for a week.
How much blood will there be?
Periods can be light, moderate, or heavy, and there can be a total of 2-4 tablespoons (30-59 milliliters) of blood. And this can vary from period to period in the same girl.
How long is a menstrual cycle?
A normal menstrual cycle could be as short as 22 days or as long as 36 days. The average cycle is 28 days.
Will I get cramps?
While most girls eventually have some cramps, some will not for the first year or two of getting their periods. Tell her that cramps usually only last a few days but that a heating pad and exercise can help. If cramps become too painful, talk to your doctor.
What is PMS?
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) are physical and emotional changes such as bloating, mood swings, irritability, breast tenderness, etc. that can occur during the time right before a period. Girls usually won’t feel PMS symptoms until several years after menstruation starts, if ever.
Use resources
Tweens and teens may be uncomfortable talking about puberty too! You can turn to books, DVDs or websites to help explain what’s happening to her body, or your family doctor answer questions.
You can start a nonchalant conversation while you’re grocery shopping and walking down the feminine-hygiene product aisle, or flipping through a magazine together and happen to see a pain reliever ad. Once you start the conversation, the tension will break.
Encourage her to be healthy
Maintaining a healthy and balanced diet is important and can relieve some of the unpleasant effects of a menstrual cycle. Taking vitamins can also help relieve some symptoms, such as magnesium can help reduce cramping, while regular intake of vitamin B6 throughout your cycle can help minimize bloating.
Be positive
Be gentle and open when you’re talking about it and talk about it in a positive light. Rather than say, “oh the dreaded period”, moms can explain that periods are a natural and amazing part of being a woman. Make sure to also explain that her body will change differently than her friends – it’s good for them to understand that her friends may get their periods at a different age – and that’s completely normal.
Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty!