Whether you’re at the playground and some other kid gets out of hand, or you’re supervising a playdate – do you intervene and discipline when the other child behaves badly?

On the Today Show, the question was posed: should you discipline another parent’s child?

It sure happens. How do you deal?  How would you or do you handle it when the other child is out of hand?

One expert, Ian Kerner, said it’s okay to discipline someone else’s child.  “You have to intervene on behalf of the children involved,” he says.

He believes in the three Fs method: be firm with the child; be fair to the child’s parent or caregiver; and, whatever you do, don’t freak out.  If for example, the other child is aggressive, you should use a firm tone of voice to stop the situation, like saying “hey!”  After that, explain to the parents what happened in a calm tone.   

“I’ve learned that while I can be firm with another parent’s child, I can’t change their parenting style,” he says. “It can be frustrating, but it’s better for you to put yourself and your child in safe situations rather than toxic ones.”

Susan Swimmer says it’s not okay to discipline someone else’s child.  She says when it comes to other kids under the age of 10, it’s not your job or your business to correct their behaviour.

Unless the situation is dangerous, she believes that you should defer to the parents or caregivers of the child causing problems.  “You’re big and they’re small and you are a stranger,” she says.  The parents of the child should be the one to explain to the child what went wrong.

Also, she says, “If you don’t like how a kid is behaving, take YOUR kid out of the situation.”   Swimmer’s message to parents who aren’t disciplining their own kids: “They’re your kids, you need to MOM UP and do the job. Don’t rely on others to do what you should do.”

 What do you think?  Should you discipline another’s child?