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"I Felt Like I Was Not a Good Mom"
Motherhood

“I Felt Like I Was Not a Good Mom”

Serena Williams is opening up about her struggles with motherhood, and shared how she has rough days or weeks. In a raw Instagram post, the tennis star wrote, “I felt like I was not a good mom.”

She also wrote that it’s “totally normal” to feel like she’s not doing enough for baby, and that some days and weeks as a mom are “rough.” She applauded moms for constantly playing the balancing act, whether they are working moms, or stay-at-home moms. Williams also shared that she has a good support system, leaning on her mom, sisters and friends when she’s having a tough time.

Thank you, Serena, for being so open and honest about your struggles as a mom. Thank you for sharing your inner-most thoughts, doubts and insecurities about motherhood with all of us. A celebrity like Serena admitting to these feelings puts the spotlight on postpartum mood disorders once again, and helps continue this important conversation.

Last week was not easy for me. Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just was in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom. I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with. I like communication best. Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal. It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby. We have all been there. I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be. However, that means although I have been with her every day of her life, I’m not around as much as I would like to be. Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes. I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week–it’s ok–I am, too!!! There’s always tomm!

A post shared by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) on

 

Last week was not easy for me. Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just was in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom.

I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with. I like communication best. Talking things through with my mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal.

It’s totally normal to feel like I’m not doing enough for my baby.

We have all been there. I work a lot, I train, and I’m trying to be the best athlete I can be.

However, that means although I have been with her every day of her life, I’m not around as much as I would like to be. Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes.

I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week–it’s ok–I am, too!!! There’s always tomm!

As many as one in five women will suffer from some form of depression, mood or anxiety disorder during or after pregnancy. However, many new moms don’t realize that postpartum depression can occur any time after giving birth.

If you or someone you know is having feelings of sadness, helplessness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in things you used to once enjoy, please see a medical professional.

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Husband Tells New Moms Not to Feel Guilty About Not Breastfeeding
Motherhood

Husband of Late Wife Tells New Moms Not to Feel Guilty About Not Breastfeeding

Florence Leung went missing in late October, without any explanation. The 32-year-old was suffering from postpartum depression, and her family was concerned about her well-being.

New Westminster, B.C. police launched a search to find the new mother. But tragically on November 16, Leung’s body was found in the waters near Bowen Island.

On Tuesday, her husband, Kim Chen posted an emotional message on the Facebook page dedicated to his wife’s memory, Remembering Mother Florence Leung.

Chen writes that his wife’s death was “the foundation of his life was taken apart, the plans of the future never to realize. Everything needs to be rebuilt.”

I have been living in survival mode: living a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time – exactly like many people taught me to do.

Living at the moment is truly the only way to go through this at this stage. As the initial shock and emotional numbness slowly subsides, I’m experiencing more flashbacks of memories from our 6.5 years of happiness, and for now these memories tend to trigger pain and intense longing.

Chen urged new mothers who are experiencing low mood or anxiety to please seek help and talk about their feelings. He also suggested that the pressure on new mothers to breastfeed exclusively can be overwhelming.

You are Not alone. You are Not a bad mother. Do not EVER feel bad or guilty about not being able to “exclusively breastfeed”, even though you may feel the pressure to do so based on posters in maternity wards, brochures in prenatal classes, and teachings at breastfeeding classes. Apparently the hospitals are designated “baby-friendly” only if they promote exclusive-breastfeeding. I still remember reading a handout upon Flo’s discharge from hospital with the line “Breast Milk Should Be the Exclusive Food For the Baby for the First Six Months,” I also remember posters on the maternity unit “Breast is Best.” While agreeing to the benefits of breast milk, there NEED [sic] to be an understanding that it is OK to supplement with formula, and that formula is a completely viable option. I will talk more about this in the future.

 

Chen also shared an article about a young mom who passed away earlier in 2016 from PPD, as her personality seemed so similar to Florence.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 11 to 20% of women who give birth each year have postpartum depression symptoms.

Do you think the pressure to breastfeed can be a factor in postpartum depression?

The pressure to breastfeed is immense, and often causing more harm than good. New moms feel intense pressure to breastfeed and fear being judged if they bottle-feed their babies.

Research shows that “breast is best” as breast milk contains all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs in the first six months of life, and packed with disease-fighting substances that protect your baby from illness.

But not all women can breastfeed exclusively for various circumstances including medical reasons, and personal choices. In this case, “fed is best”.

As long as baby is thriving and growing, and mom is also happy and healthy, that’s what matters most.

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Health

Women Living in Cities Most at Risk for Post-Partum Depression

Women living in large cities have a greater risk of postpartum depression than women in rural areas, according to a study published Tuesday in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

“Living in an urban area is a marker of more stress, less support and a potentially higher risk of postpartum depression for women,” says lead author of the study Dr. Simone Vigod, a psychiatrist at Women’s College Hospital.

Postpartum depression can begin shortly after a woman gives birth and risk factors include a history of depression and lack of social support.

The results are based on data of almost 6,500 women who participated in the 2006 study. Overall, the prevalence of postpartum depression five to 14 months after giving birth was 7.5 per cent.

But among women living in urban areas, nearly 10 per cent reported postpartum depression compared with 6 per cent in rural areas, 7 per cent in semirural and about 5 per cent in semiurban areas.

Rural is defined as settlements smaller than 1,000 people, semirural as smaller than 30,000, semiurban as 30,000 to 499,999 and urban as more than 500,000.

The study accounted for variables such as age, marital status, place of birth, a history of depression and complications during pregnancy or delivery as well as whether women commuted to larger urban centres. It also considered other factors that accompany social isolation, such as immigrant status, interpersonal violence, self-perceived health and social support.

Researchers note that urban cities have more immigrants and more women who report having little or no social support during and after pregnancy.

“It’s really important for new parents, both moms and dads, to get connected to a support network,” says Claire Kerr-Zlobin, founder of Life with a Baby.

“I would suggest getting connected with the Ministry program Healthy Babies, Healthy Children and Life with a Baby. We need to ensure new families have a circle of support.”

I’m surprised by the results, thinking that women in urban areas have access to more services and opportunity for social connection. I would have thought living in rural areas would be more isolating!

What do you think of the results of this study?

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Entertainment

Gwyneth Paltrow Had Postpartum Depression: Will It Help Others Talk About It?

Gwyneth Paltrow had post-partum depressionDespite being a successful actress and married to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow suffered from post-partum depression after her second child was born.

“I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t access my heart. I couldn’t access my emotions. I couldn’t connect,” Paltrow, now 38, says in the February issue of Good Housekeeping.

“It was terrible, it was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born. With her, I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person.”

How did she realize it wasn’t just the baby blues, a postpartum mood disorder than many new mothers experience?

It was Paltrow’s husband who first thought she might be suffering from something much more.

 “About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, ‘Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong,’ ” Paltrow recalls. “I kept saying, ‘No, no, I’m fine.’ But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble.”

Paltrow says the hardest part was acknowledging the problem, something I think many new mothers can relate to.  Approximately 10 to 15% of women suffer from postpartum mood disorders (PPMDs).

“I thought postpartum depression meant you were sobbing every single day and incapable of looking after a child,” she explains. “But there are different shades of it and depths of it, which is why I think it’s so important for women to talk about it. It was a trying time. I felt like a failure.”

Now that her son is two years old and Apple is four, Paltrow is back in the saddle and starring in Country Song.

Why did it take her so long to come out about post-partum depression?  I think for many, it’s still a taboo subject.  But I’m glad that the actress has revealed her struggle with post-partum depression and is so open about it.  I hope this will allow other women to feel like they are not alone, and that even a Hollywood actress can suffer from the same issue.

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