by Stacey Cox-Farrant
Perfect timing I thought. I had just put the finishing touches on my lip gloss when the pickup truck pulled into my driveway. My boyfriend was here to pick me up.
It was so cozy getting into the truck with the bench seat. I could snuggle up and he could drive one handed since his other arm was occupied around my shoulders. The winter night was cold, but the blast of heat from the vent and the excitement of meeting my new boyfriend’s parents was making me forget my frost bitten toes.
We arrived in no time since we lived right around the corner from one another. I got out of the truck and headed towards the front door of the house. We walked in together to see these very nice warm welcoming faces. It wasn’t going to be so bad meeting the folks.
After the hello’s, I had my boyfriend give me a tour of the house. It was a very homey environment with lots of family photos everywhere. The tour was almost done, with one last stop….the kitchen.
As I entered the heart of the family home I noticed that there were pictures of my boyfriend and his brother on the refrigerator, held there by magnets of their t ball and soccer photos. There was also artwork that had so lovingly been made with fingerprints and crafts tacked to the cupboard doors. This would have been so cute if he hadn’t been 30!
It was at this exact moment that I realized I was indeed a “cougar”! “What was I doing here,” I asked myself. I had my own kids’ artwork on my fridge!
It had all become so clear; I was attempting to reclaim my youth by dating a much younger guy. You must be wondering, “what exactly was the age difference”?
The answer to that question is eight years. That may not seem much to some but the writing was on the wall in Crayola that it was indeed!
When you find yourself in the “dating game”, you know exactly what you don’t want, but now it’s discovery time to find out what you actually desire and need in a relationship. At first when I started dating the young cub, it was fun and exciting to get picked up and go to the movies, or listen to a band play in a local pub. But all of a sudden you realize that you have nothing in common except the fact that you both enjoyed the movie!
I do know that for some, the May to December relationship can work, but for me… I needed more. I have raised a family, owned homes, had careers and was already planning my retirement. This guy hadn’t even moved out of his parents’ home yet!
The hardest part wasn’t just the realization that he was too young for me – it was going to be the breakup. I hate it when bullies make my kids cry. I didn’t want to be the bad guy. It was inevitable though – the more we were together, the more the visions of “Wally and the Beavers” memorabilia haunted me. When that dreaded day of ripping off the proverbial Band-Aid arrived, I knew that I had made the right decision.
I so carefully chose the right version of “it’s not you, it’s me” and that’s when it happened… the temper tantrum! It was like I was back in 1982, and my cousin Stuart was throwing his annual Christmas fit!
Unkind words were spoken, and apparently “I’m not the Queen”! Dating a boy toy just isn’t as glamorous as Courtney Cox makes it look on “Cougartown”. Perhaps if I lived in California, instead of a small town, and I had Botox, breast implants and white chicklet teeth it could have been my “normal”.
I will always be thankful for the six weeks of feeling of feeling young again, but even Molly Ringwald would have to play the role of “mom” in a remake of “Sixteen Candles”. It’s official that you can’t go back, only forward.
Stacey Farrant is the single mother of three teenagers, a career woman by day and a self-proclaimed DIVA whenever fighting grime, cooking dinner and running the car pool allows…. all while wearing a 6″ pair of stilettos. Follow her on Twitter.