by Christine LaRocque

A soft place to land

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest son and I were cuddling on a lazy Sunday afternoon. My youngest was napping, the house was blissfully quiet except for the beeping sounds of my oldest’s tag reader as the two of us relaxed together enjoying our respective books.

I stopped and watched him for a moment. My heart swelled with love and joy. We had reached that point, the point where we could relax companionably in each other’s company. I was struck by how much he has grown up, how much he has changed, seemingly overnight. No longer a toddler, no longer even a preschooler, now a full on boy at almost six.

My mind wandered as he focused on discovering his books. As always, whenever I allow myself a moment to take stock, I considered this new phase of his life. I’ve noticed he’s changing.

While he continues to test his boundaries it has taken on a new edge. No longer is it about basic behaviour, but now it comes from his budding individuality. More and more he’s asserting himself with ideas that are all his own.

Life has a way of moving forward even when we aren’t completely paying attention. Until recently I haven’t focused much on who he is outside of our family unit. I’ve looked at him as my son, my oldest son, a part of us. Now I’m starting to see him for himself.

This leaves me feeling torn – between excitement for him, and apprehension and sadness for me. Everything is changing. Changing as it should, but that doesn’t make it easy.

I know that similar emotions run through the hearts and minds of mothers everywhere.  We must let our children grow up, it’s important that we trust them in the world and let them be all that they should be. But we must also provide a safety net of comfort that they can come home to and guidance to help them navigate the new influences they face.

And so, though things are changing, much stays the same. He still needs me, perhaps more than ever. I will be here to hug him, to encourage him, to provide a soft place to land when he needs it.

Christine LaRocque is a communications professional and mom to two boys. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she reflects on life as a full-time working mom.