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my husband doesn’t help me around the house

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My Husband Doesn’t Help Me Around the House

by an Anonymous Mom

Be warned, this is a little rant.  Thank goodness it’s anonymous because I wouldn’t want anyone in my family to know how I really feel.

I resent my husband sometimes.  Okay all the time.  I bite my tongue sometimes in order to keep a happy household but there are many times when I can be a complete, mean bitch.

While I work a full-time job, I also end up doing many of the household chores too. Because I get home earlier from my job than he does, I end up being the one to make dinner, clean up and do homework with my older kids and get my toddler ready for bed.

I often am the one to get the kids ready for bed too, bathing them, reading to them.  So realistically by the time I’m finished everything that I have to do in order to keep my house running normally, I am too damn exhausted to do anything else.

When he gets home from work, he eats a hot, home-cooked meal, takes a long hot shower, plays with the kids for a little while and then falls asleep.  Out like a fucking light.  Okay maybe he’ll make his own lunch but do you see where I’m getting at?

On the weekends, I’m too busy catching up with housework to relax and unwind.  In case you’re wondering “well why can’t he help on the weekends?” he does but he helps as much as I ask him to.  You see he’s good with taking instructions but I get tired of delegating.  Can’t he just figure it out all on his own? Do I have to show him what to do step by step?  It’d just be easier to do it myself.

He’s also busy taking care of the outside of the house too, I should be fair to say that. And when I do ask him to do something, he will do it. Whether or not he takes care of it right away or waits until later in the day, he doesn’t have an issue helping out when I ask.

I do become a little resentful that I am a working woman and yet I’m still do most of the work at home too.

I’m resentful that becoming a mother changed everything in my  life – my body, my career, my mom guilt – and yet did not change his lifestyle very much at all.

Maybe I’m being unreasonable but I can’t help but feel this way.  Nobody talks about this kind of stuff – I usually hear “oh my marriage is great” or “my husband is so helpful”.  Is it like this for everybody?

Why do some women get it so difficult while some men get off easily?  Is this a fair judgement? Maybe not.  Will I get over it?  I don’t know.  I know I have to in order to move on.  Right now I’m feeling overwhelmed by being a mother, a wife and a working woman.

Have you ever felt this way too?