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by Christine LaRocque
A soft place to land

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest son and I were cuddling on a lazy Sunday afternoon. My youngest was napping, the house was blissfully quiet except for the beeping sounds of my oldest’s tag reader as the two of us relaxed together enjoying our respective books.

I stopped and watched him for a moment. My heart swelled with love and joy. We had reached that point, the point where we could relax companionably in each other’s company. I was struck by how much he has grown up, how much he has changed, seemingly overnight. No longer a toddler, no longer even a preschooler, now a full on boy at almost six.

My mind wandered as he focused on discovering his books. As always, whenever I allow myself a moment to take stock, I considered this new phase of his life. I’ve noticed he’s changing.

While he continues to test his boundaries it has taken on a new edge. No longer is it about basic behaviour, but now it comes from his budding individuality. More and more he’s asserting himself with ideas that are all his own.

Life has a way of moving forward even when we aren’t completely paying attention. Until recently I haven’t focused much on who he is outside of our family unit. I’ve looked at him as my son, my oldest son, a part of us. Now I’m starting to see him for himself.

This leaves me feeling torn – between excitement for him, and apprehension and sadness for me. Everything is changing. Changing as it should, but that doesn’t make it easy.

I know that similar emotions run through the hearts and minds of mothers everywhere.  We must let our children grow up, it’s important that we trust them in the world and let them be all that they should be. But we must also provide a safety net of comfort that they can come home to and guidance to help them navigate the new influences they face.

And so, though things are changing, much stays the same. He still needs me, perhaps more than ever. I will be here to hug him, to encourage him, to provide a soft place to land when he needs it.

 

Christine LaRocqueChristine LaRocque is a communications professional and mom to two boys. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she reflects on life as a full-time working mom.

by Julie Green

It was the nicest compliment I’d received in a long time.  Not foxy.  Not clever.  Not kind, even.  But really useful.  For those of you unfamiliar with Thomas the Tank Engine, allow me to enlighten your poor sheltered lives for a moment.  Thomas, based on a series of old books by Rev. W Awdry, tells the tale of a little blue steam engine from a little island remarkably like Britain, only sunny.  For some odd reason, Thomas and his ‘steamie’ friends are positively revered by the under-four set.  And my two-and-a-bit-year-old is no exception to this enduring trainspotting obsession.  He knows every engine by heart according to its colour and number.  He asks to watch Misty Island Rescue at least five times a day and, I’m slightly loathe to admit, can recite whole sections of the film verbatim.  If you have a girl, count yourself lucky.  But then, I guess payback comes with puberty…

If, on the other hand, you haven’t heard of Thomas, you’ve obviously been living under some quaint rock in the Gulf of Mexico, and frankly I’m jealous.  The Thomas franchise is thriving, to say the least.  The cost of the full wooden railway set will make your eyes water.  Not to mention the DVDs, books, CDs, T-shirts, shoes, toddler beds, bedding…  You name it, and Thomas is probably steaming all the way to the bank on it.  He’s my son’s first superhero crush, and I suppose he could do worse.  Thomas is known as ‘the cheeky one’, and even though he tends to goes about it the wrong way, he’s always trying to be useful.  Usefulness, you see, is next to godliness on the quasi-British island of Sodor. 

Which leads me back to the compliment.  The other day when my son declared for no good reason, ‘Mommy is a really useful engine’, I (no pun) stopped in my tracks.  Talk about nailing it.  Talk about kids being perceptive.  Really, I could hardly argue with him.  Most days I feel exactly like that machine, chugging thanklessly from one task to the next.  And yet I knew in my son’s limited estimation, being ‘useful’ was a compliment of the highest order, and I was tickled for the recognition.  So, at least he isn’t taking the endless diaper changes, cooked meals, and laundry loads for granted.

But toddlers by their very nature are tempestuous and contradictory.  One moment there will lovely cuddles, the next whining and sprawled-on-the-floor tantrums to rival the likes of Naomi Campbell.  The other day, though, was a first for us.  And as firsts go, it’s one I’m not proud to admit.  He tore a brand-new library book.  I was mortified.  My son. Tore. A. Book.  I had to breathe in the bag.  Where did he learn such destruction?  Was it an innate impulse?  Here, in our very own book-worshipping household, he ripped a freshly illustrated page… 

And yet he is inexplicably sensitive and will cry at the slightest thing.  Like when he hears the song ‘Home on the Range’, which just so inconveniently happens to be on many children’s CDs.  What’s so offensive about this song, anyway?  Beats the heck out of me.  I can think of many songs off the top of my head that make me want to cry (Bieber), but none of them are about buffalo or antelopes. 

So the next time he’s writhing on the floor or throwing his dinner overboard, I’m going to smile and recall my usefulness.  And the time he announced at the dinner table — without prompts or bribes, I might add — ‘Mommy, I love you’.  Forget the Bieber, that was music to my ears.  Now, if only I can find a way to record such utterings, for playback when he turns 16…

Julie M Green (aka Little Green Mom) is a novelist and freelance writer who rants and raves about all things mommy at Little Green One.  She lives in Toronto with her husband and two-year-old son, Jackson.  Visit www.juliemgreen.ca or follow her on Twitter.

My Dad and I are close.  The baby of the family, I was always known for being very affectionate.  I still go up to him and stroke his face or kiss him on the cheek.

My Dad moved to Toronto from Greece with pennies in his pocket.  The typical immigrant story: didn’t know the language, didn’t know anybody, didn’t have any money.

He was known as “The Singing Bartender” for 30 years.  Karaoke singer and psychiatrist too.  He’s seen it all, met all walks of life and heard all kinds of stories.  To this day, my Dad is a social butterfly and always the life of the party.  And he can sing a mean “New York, New York”.

I was very attached to my father because for a good part of my early childhood, he took care of me and my siblings while my mom worked nights.  He’d feed us dinner, bathe us, read bedtime stories and tucked us in.  I’d wake up at night because of a nightmare and call out his name.  My mother told me later how much it bothered her that I’d never call out for her.

Just a high school degree but my dad is self-taught.  Finances, news, politics – he knows it all.  Maybe too much for his own good.  He’s quite the handyman too; he can fix anything and even build a basement.

My dad was the main provider for our family but he was also a hands-on dad. He was NOT the typical old-fashioned Meditteranean Dad.  He was quite modern for that time.

Although we feared him a bit, he was always gentle with us.  He played with us, drove us around to piano and ballet lessons, swimming and Greek school.

Today, he is a grandfather of eight kids.  My boys have such a special bond with “Pappou”.  Always smiling, he still has the energy of a 20-year-old when he plays with them.  My boys go crazy for him and of course, I know exactly why they love him so much.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!