Something I never thought I’d do by Dianne Preston
I did something for Christmas this year that I never thought I would again – I had my ex-husband over for dinner.
Over the past couple of months, we have been in touch again after three or more years of no contact. We’ve been divorced now for seven years.
I admit – it has been bothering me for about the last year that we haven’t been able to converse at all – even for my son’s sake. I’ve gone to pick up the phone many times to reach out… but I just couldn’t do it.
So I was glad back in November when he made the first move and called to ask me a question. He left a message which took me awhile to return.
When we did talk finally, it seemed like old times. When you’ve been with someone for 30 years, there really isn’t anyone on earth that knows you better. We caught up on a lot of things and I felt a relief knowing we could now speak civilly.
He called again a few days before Christmas to see if I could help him with ideas for our son’s girlfriend. He has always been a great gift giver, putting extra thought into it.
I asked what he was doing for Christmas dinner. “Oh, no big deal, might go to Craig’s.” Knowing him like I do, I knew this meant he wasn’t going anywhere.
Here’s my problem… I have way too damn big of a heart and could never see anyone alone on Christmas. So I called my son and asked what he would think of his Dad coming for dinner. It was great with him if it was alright with me.
So I called him back and invited him and he accepted! Whoa… now what!?
Have to admit it was a wee bit nerve wracking – again, I haven’t even laid eyes on him in a few years!
He arrived the same time as my son and when they all walked in together – it was weird and nice at the same time. We hugged and kissed automatically and the rest of the day proceeded the same way – normal?
If there’s one thing my ex did, just about every day of our marriage, was make me laugh. Christmas day was no exception – he has a wicked sense of humour and we all had SO many chuckles!
We had a lovely gift exchange with the “kids”. My biggest smile of the day came from knowing that – it doesn’t matter that my son just turned *gulp* 28 on Jan 2nd – it thrilled my son to have us altogether! Dinner turned out perfect and so did the remainder of the evening.
I keep saying to my friends that there are no ‘feelings’ there anymore’ he’s still who he is BUT I’m really glad we’re at this point now – for my son’s sake, and ours too.
I still can’t get over how normal and comfortable it all was. I guess it is possible to go from having a marriage to just a friendship again – I guess it just took me seven years. Better late than never.
Dianne Preston aka @smilenwaven is a proud Mom, first and foremost. Her son inherited his musical passion from her but thankfully he has talent! Dianne has worked in the admin world for most of her working years and now has a home-based typing, errand service. She loves music/concerts, antiques, Scrabble, cooking and being with friends, including her Mom. She worked as an associate-editor for two small newspapers and was married 25 years, but has since moved on and loving her ‘new life’ at the moment.