Today is World Mental Health Day, a day for global mental health education, awareness and
advocacy against social stigma.
I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m having a tough go and am currently out of commission. Please know it’s not that I don’t wish to speak to you or see your lovely face because I do. But I just can’t at the moment because I’m stuck under a dark cloud and I can’t seem to clear the fog.
You see, Depression and Anxiety crept up on me when I woke up this morning. They must have sneaked into my dreams during the night, seeped their darkness deep within me and have taken over. They’ve decided they are lingering today. I’m not sure why they decided to take control now, but they did. I can’t do anything to escape their stronghold and must succumb to their will.
You must understand, it’s not really a choice of mine. Living with Depression and Anxiety means I can’t control when they will decide to come out and “play”… I can’t control when they’re going to grab me in a chokehold until I can’t breathe. It’s like I’m drowning while everyone else is floating above me.
Even though I can manage most of the time, some days, the weight of the world seems too much to bear. While it’s helpful to talk about our feelings, I only want to retreat from the world at this moment.
I don’t want you to think I’m avoiding you, or don’t want to see you. I don’t have the physical or mental energy to attempt a conversation. I really wanted to chat and laugh together while enjoying a cup of coffee, and you could tell me all about work, the kids and your last vacation.
Please forgive me if I bail on you, or don’t pick up the phone when you call or take too long to message you back. I do want to talk to you, but I’m in self-preservation mode. Leave me a message – I do appreciate any kind words – and I’ll get back to you when I’ve managed to crawl out of this rabbit hole and ready to face the world again.