Your Mother,

Who art the queen of the house

Hallowed be our name of mom and mommy too

You call us the best mom in the world

Because we clean and cook for you,

And wipe your butts, noses and smell your farts

Give us this day our daily coffee and chocolate

And forgive us our yelling and mom guilt

As we have forgiven you kids for your tantrums, whining and running our lives

And lead us not to the bottle of vodka or cabernet,

But deliver us chicken and pizza.

Amen.