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by Maria Lianos

Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay is Kathy Buckworth’s latest book, in stores now.

It’s a hilarious take one of my least enjoyable duties – feeding my picky kids.  Having to prepare three meals a day plus snacks can cause any mom to lose her marbles.

The witty Buckworth, who also has written other parenting humour books such as The Secret Life of Supermom, offers some great tips and even easy recipes for moms who don’t want to add “chef” to their already lengthy and unbearable list of responsibilities. 

Effortlessly and humourously, Buckworth tackles mealtime and the dreadful snack-time, as well as the lovely task of “feeding the in-laws and outlaws”. 

Before you even get to feed the brood, you need to shop for groceries with your rowdy kids in tow. Leave it to the husband you say?

“The main thing women need to recognize about grocery shopping is that it plays into some ancient, anthropological instincts.  Women, as we all know, were society’s gatherers; men were the hunters.  I am always impressed by how men have managed to transition these skills into “hunting” at the liquor store or the aforementioned Home Depot, but have entirely skipped over the grocery store.  This has left it up to us – the gatherers – to fill the void. While they get to hunt for vodka and screwdrivers, we get to gather zucchini and 12-grain bread.”

Easy recipes, that any culinary novice can do blind-folded, round off this light-hearted, funny book.

I laughed out loud while reading and even gasped once.   The Lasagna recipe on page 82 calls for a jar of premade tomato sauce which would likely cause my Italian husband to suffer a panic attack.  He’d kill me if I didn’t share my quick and easy tomato sauce recipe 😉

So as Ms. Buckworth would say, Shut Up and Eat!, I would say, “Kali Oreksi!  Mangiamo!”

Enter to win one of three prize packs which include Shut Up and Eat!  and The Blackberry Diaries!

Contest ends June 4, 2010.  One entry per person.

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This is an excerpt from Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay written by Kathy Buckworth

We need to face facts. The family meal is fraught with disaster and a prescription pre-written to fail, almost every time.

You (the earnest Mom), hate making it day after day after day, and they (the annoying children) hate eating it. Mostly because you made it with your own hands, in your own kitchen, with disdainfully fresh and nutritious grocery store ingredients.

Come on Mom! Everyone knows food goes through an amazing taste transformation once it’s been passed through a drive-thru window. In fact I’m thinking of installing one on the side of my house so the kids can grab their breakfast sandwiches as they ride by on their bikes.

 To make it really authentic, I’m thinking of charging them and getting the order wrong half the time. Hopefully I won’t get the pre-requisite zits and “uptalk” pattern of speech. And I’m nixing the hair net, okay?

I honestly don’t understand (or care, frankly) why they don’t love my cooking, or at least like it. But the whys don’t really matter. The indisputable fact is that whether they (or we) like it or not, moms are “supposed“to get three meals down the adorable, little throats of our offspring by the end of each day.

I’m pretty sure that rule is in every parenting book ever written. Whether we’re serving these meals at home, or bundling them up and sending them out to schools and camps, the food is “supposed” to be healthy and lovingly prepared.

After 17 years of trying to achieve this balance, my advice is this:  Go for one or the other. Either it’s healthy or you loved making it. (If it’s neither, it’s take out.)

If you knock yourself out making that perfectly nutritious meal each and every time, I have to tell you, the love will surely be missing. If you’re able to snatch a Lunchable out of the fridge, throw in an apple and a Wagon Wheel cookie, and send them on their way in five seconds or less, you’re going to feel the love.

Maybe not for the kids, but for the packaged-goods company who just helped you out. It’s all good from where I’m standing, baby.

Excerpted from “Shut Up and Eat! Tales of Chicken, Children, and Chardonnay, Kathy Buckworth, Key Porter Books, March 2010, now available at bookstores everywhere. Visit www.kathybuckworth.com and follow Kathy on twitter at www.twitter.com/kathybuckworth