boys and puberty

My eldest boy turned 10 a few months ago and I’m still denying it. Gah! My son is a pre-teen!

When your child becomes a preteen overnight, you stop and think – when did this happen?! My son is officially a tween.

He’ll catch me staring at him because I can’t stop looking at all the changes he’s undergoing. He’s looking less like a kid and more like an adolescent.

I can’t help but feel nostalgic as he teeters between being a kid and wanting to be a cool pre-teenager. My child is growing up right before my eyes.

When we cuddle, his toes reach mine. I sure can’t carry him anymore, or even give him a piggy-back ride.

When I compare his size to that of my eight-year-old, I know that I have to cherish my boys even more now, if that’s even possible. I can still hold my youngest in my arms, carry him (not for long periods but still) and he can curl up in my lap.

My 1o-year-old boy turning into young a man? Not so much. His feet are getting to be as big as mine.

His toys are pretty much untouched… except for his complicated Lego creations. He’s much rather listen to music, play on his iPod or watch Minecraft videos on YouTube. And hockey – watch hockey, play hockey, talk about hockey… everything is about hockey.

We can sit together and have a full conversation about anything. I love hearing what he has to say. We can hang out, watch a movie, and go to a restaurant – just the two of us. He’s responsible for his own things, and he takes extra pride when organizing his hockey medals and trophies.

But don’t even think about hugging or kissing him in public! I can’t sing or dance in the dressing room at hockey practice because I’ll embarrass him, God forbid!

Did you know that tweens also have attitude? That is probably the most challenging. The “I know everything” phase drives me crazy and I know it’ll only get worse as he enters the teenage years.

My son is prepubescent and I’m just waiting for him to suddenly grown two inches and his voice to change even more overnight. At 10 years of age, I know that he’s maturing, not only physically but emotionally. He’s beginning to develop a sense of who he really is.

During this phase, he may be going through the hormonal changes that are common with the beginning of puberty. I can imagine that he’s feeling stress with school work, friendships, performing well on his hockey team and his “pesky” little brother at home.

When you have children, you know they’re going to grow up. Obviously. But still, nothing prepares you for when you’re actually going through each and every phase. No matter how many books and articles you read, or how much advice you receive, when you’re experiencing things first-hand, you can still feel like you have no freaking clue what you’re doing as a parent.

You can only hope that you’re doing the best you possibly can to raise your children to be respectful, kindhearted and compassionate adults.

“Wow my sister got really tall! What happened?”

My boys are almost 10 and 8 and they are starting to ask a lot of questions about puberty. Their older cousins are going through it – and they have questions!

How do you explain to a child who still loves cartoons and playing with stuffed animals about “grown-up stuff” like their sister’s bras and pimples?

What do you tell boys about what’s going on with their sister and/or friends and cousins?

Well, it’s a conversation you have to have not only with your pubescent daughter but also with her little brother! It’s important to let children know that the changes in their body are normal and they can come to you with any questions. The last thing you want to do is look and sound uncomfortable when your children come to you for advice.

Why are his sisters and cousins going through body changes at different times than boys?

Here are some answers you can provide your curious boys.

1. Girls may start puberty before boys do. They are going to grow taller probably before boys in their same class do. A girl’s puberty starts with breast development which can happen anywhere from age 9 to 14. About 2 years after breast development, a girl can expect her first menstrual period. Two years after that, she’ll have reached her adult height and will stop growing taller, signalling the end of puberty.

2. Boys begin puberty about a year or two after girls, with a normal range of 10-17 years. The first visible sign of puberty in males is an increase in testicular size. Boys continue to grow for about 6 years after the beginning of puberty, about two years longer than girls.

3. Tell your son that her body is changing and that she is developing breasts and hips – like her mom – as she is looking more like a woman. After that, she’s going to experience menstruation – having a period – which is completely normal and what every girl/woman goes through. The reproductive system – what happens when you’re a woman and you can have babies – is going to start working. If your kids want more information about how it works, tell them! If they have more questions, it doesn’t hurt to be scientific about it if they ask.

4. They can also know that she may start to have pimples, backaches and cramps as she goes through puberty. Girls will also be hormonal and emotional so there will be some non-physical changes (more about that next post). Boys can be told that their sisters (or cousins) need some space and understanding.

5. Talk normally about puberty with your kids – you don’t want to make a huge deal about all of these puberty changes because your daughter (and son) is probably already self-conscious about the changes herself.

More resources:

When should you start talking about puberty?

https://amotherworld.com/main/health/when-to-start-talking-about-puberty/

What should I tell my daughter about her first period?

https://amotherworld.com/main/parenting/what-should-i-tell-my-daughter-about-her-first-period/

Disclosure: I’m thrilled to be working with Always, Tampax and BeingGirl to share important information about kids and puberty.

When Your Child Becomes a Preteen Overnight

Tips for Telling Boys about their Sister and Puberty

What do you tell boys about what’s going on with their sister and/or friends and cousins?

Here are some answers you can provide your curious boys.

More resources:

When should you start talking about puberty?

What should I tell my daughter about her first period?