accepting that our kids are growing up

It has already started with my 5 year old – “Mommy don’t kiss me.”

Excuse me?!?

Of course I insisted and forced a kiss on his cheek. But really?!? At five years old, he’s already starting to get embarrassed by mom planting a big one on his sweet little face in public?

At least I’m not squishing his cheeks or pinching his bum like I’m sure I will when I’m a grandma. It’s just a little kiss on his nose or forehead or a peck on the lips or a sneaky slurp on the cheek!

Even this morning, my seven year old made sure that I kissed him far away from the school…

“Don’t kiss me in public,” he said.

“Pardon me?!” I replied. “Are you embarrassed?”

He nodded.

“I’m your mom. I’m allowed to kiss you!”

“OK,” he responded. I grabbed his little face and planted one on his cheek.

Sigh.

My boys are growing too fast.

Soon enough, they’ll squeal and run away when I try to even hug them. Then they won’t want to hold hands with me anymore either. They won’t let me kiss them in front of their friends at school… won’t want me to even take them to school anymore.

They’ll be asking me to drop them off a distance away from the mall or movies so their friends don’t see that their ‘uncool’ mom is escorting them… even though I AM cool but they’ll never really acknowledge that when they’re teenagers.

Soon enough, they’ll stop saying,

“When I grow up I want to be a Dad and you can be my wife.” (My five year old said that recently.)

“When I’m grown up I’m going to marry you and live with you forever.” (My seven year old declared this to me not long ago.)

*Tear*

How do you deal with accepting that your kids are growing up?

by Christine LaRocque

A soft place to land

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest son and I were cuddling on a lazy Sunday afternoon. My youngest was napping, the house was blissfully quiet except for the beeping sounds of my oldest’s tag reader as the two of us relaxed together enjoying our respective books.

I stopped and watched him for a moment. My heart swelled with love and joy. We had reached that point, the point where we could relax companionably in each other’s company. I was struck by how much he has grown up, how much he has changed, seemingly overnight. No longer a toddler, no longer even a preschooler, now a full on boy at almost six.

My mind wandered as he focused on discovering his books. As always, whenever I allow myself a moment to take stock, I considered this new phase of his life. I’ve noticed he’s changing.

While he continues to test his boundaries it has taken on a new edge. No longer is it about basic behaviour, but now it comes from his budding individuality. More and more he’s asserting himself with ideas that are all his own.

Life has a way of moving forward even when we aren’t completely paying attention. Until recently I haven’t focused much on who he is outside of our family unit. I’ve looked at him as my son, my oldest son, a part of us. Now I’m starting to see him for himself.

This leaves me feeling torn – between excitement for him, and apprehension and sadness for me. Everything is changing. Changing as it should, but that doesn’t make it easy.

I know that similar emotions run through the hearts and minds of mothers everywhere. We must let our children grow up, it’s important that we trust them in the world and let them be all that they should be. But we must also provide a safety net of comfort that they can come home to and guidance to help them navigate the new influences they face.

And so, though things are changing, much stays the same. He still needs me, perhaps more than ever. I will be here to hug him, to encourage him, to provide a soft place to land when he needs it.

Christine LaRocque is a communications professional and mom to two boys. She blogs at Coffees & Commutes, where she reflects on life as a full-time working mom.