Shit My Preschooler Says: Why Kids are the Poets Who Don’t Know It

by Julie Green


Kids see the world with such fresh, innocent eyes. It’s no wonder that what comes out of their mouths often vacillates between sheer genius and pure comedy.


Forget P.B. Shelley; our kids are the real poets who don’t know it.


Forget Jim Carrey; our kids come out with the most cracking, side-splitting one-liners.


Their timing is impeccable, the delivery bang on, precisely because they aren’t trying to be funny.  They just are.


On the wordsmith side of things, one of the best I’ve heard came from a friend of a friend of a friend.  While driving past a field of sheep somewhere in Jolly Ole England, the little boy simply pointed out the window and said, “cloud dogs”.  I challenge any writer worth his salt to conjure a more astute analogy.


For his part, my LGO leans more toward comedy than lyricism.  On days when I haven’t quite managed to shave (I know you know what I mean), he helpfully informs me that ‘Mommy’s legs are picky’.  And lately he’s started asking daddy for a beer.  He’s not quite three years old. Uh, plenty of time for that, son…


He has also coined a few misnomers all his own, which have proved way too amusing for me to correct.  But I suppose I will have to at some point, lest he give his unsuspecting college roommate hell for using the last of the ‘shampoop’ or for eating all of the ‘penis butter’.


Then again, maybe I’ll let it ride. I’d pay good money to see the look on his poor roomie’s face. After all, laughter’s one of the few highs in life that’s still legal.


Julie M Green (aka Little Green Mom) is a novelist and freelance writer who rants and raves about all things mommy at Little Green One.  She lives in Toronto with her husband and two-year-old son, Jackson.  Visit her website or follow her on Twitter.


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