by Franki Arnold
I’m now over 24 weeks into my second pregnancy, and while both this pregnancy and my first with Tatum went very smoothly, there’s still minor physical as well as mental differences. It’s funny how drastically your thoughts on pregnancy and childbirth can change once you’ve experienced it, and once you have another child who is now involved in all of the changes that happen. During my first pregnancy, the worry of becoming first time parents and “how the heck are we going to do this” was always at the back of my mind and now during the second pregnancy, there seem to be so many other little factors I hadn’t imagined!
This time around, it’s not just me and my husband’s lives that are changing – it’s our daughter’s. I’ve constantly been wondering how I will balance her needs as well as the new baby’s needs. How can I still make her feel important, and most of all, involved in all of the new life changes?
A newborn baby’s needs are high and I want to be able to care for our new little one as best as I can while still letting Tatum feel she is as much a part of the family as she always. It’s been the three of us for nearly five years, and it seems like it will be such a huge shift once our newest family member is here. I don’t want to push her away. This has been the main thought in my mind during pregnancy number two.
Since I’ve already experienced birth, I know how quickly things can get out of hand during labor and delivery. I know how overwhelming the hospital setting can be, and I do not want to feel as helpless as I did last time. I thought my second pregnancy would be worry-free and calm. In my case, that is completely wrong!
While I better understand how to treat my body (especially since I am attempting a VBAC) and the changes aren’t as jarring as they were the first time, it almost seems as though during my first pregnancy, ignorance was bliss! I remember feeling completely, 100% confident that Tatum would be perfectly healthy and that my birth would go as planned.
I know better this time. The urge to educate myself as much as possible can be a daunting task at times, and I’m struggling with how to balance keeping myself informed about my birth options, yet relaxing and enjoying what will be my last pregnancy.
How on earth will two children affect my marriage? People are not sane when faced with an extreme lack of sleep! Thinking back to when Tatum was a newborn, and after a night of being awake long enough to see the sun come up, I wonder how incorporating the sleepless nights with a newborn, a preschooler, plus all of the other routine changes that have happened over the years will work.
I like my sleep, and Tatum has had this whole sleep-through-the-night thing down for a good two years now. I have to admit I’m a little afraid at the thought of our sweet little infant keeping us up at all hours, only for us to have to wake up and be joyful parents to our sweet Tatum.
I get so caught up in these thoughts of how will I do this, how will I do that. How can I balance life with a newborn and a preschooler and how can I still feel like myself and not just “mom.”
Then I realize that there is absolutely nothing right now that I can do. I need to slow down, take a breath, and enjoy this time. I need to trust that my husband will be there for me, my family will be there for me, and those motherly instincts that I worry about will kick in and I will know how to parent my big girl and my little baby equally and effectively.
What are your experiences with adding a second baby to the family? Were you a worry-wart like me, or did you go with the flow and embrace the change as it happened?
Franki Arnold, owner/operator and blogger of Those Young Moms is a 26-year-old mother to 4 1/2 year old Tatum and expecting baby number two in July 2013. Franki is passionate about natural and empowering birth for women, organic and healthy eating for families, easy chic fashion for moms and big cups of coffee. She hopes to inspire women through blogging about her journey towards a VBAC with her second pregnancy. Find her also on Facebook and Twitter.
