by Maria Lianos-Carbone
When the Boss was 2, I was pregnant with the Destroyer. I was concerned about having two kids in diapers. So I tried the potty training routine, read the books, researched online and tried it all.
First, I let the Boss run around naked. Funny but slightly disturbing to see my kid fondling his penis freely. Eventually he ended up peeing on the floor.
Next I bribed him with a toy. The Boss is smarter than that. It failed. Even Diego couldn’t entice him to go on the potty. He’d look at me like I was stupid – ‘this is my body and I’ll go pee when I want to.’ He ran away and screamed, “I don’t want to go on the potty!”
Then Daddy showed him how to use the potty. His older cousin taught him the whole bathroom routine. I bought him a new Diego soft seat and underwear.
I even consulted his pediatrician. The Boss was in the office with me so I quietly asked the doctor, “Any tips on helping him go on the p-o-t-t-y?” He replied, “Don’t p-u-s-h it.”
Yes, there was major resistance. Wasn’t he physically ready? Did he really enjoy the feeling of wetness? Did he not mind walking around with a diaper full of poop?
I gave up. He just isn’t ready, I thought. Drop it, let it go, he won’t be 8 years old and still in diapers.
Then one day, miraculously, he simply said, “Mommy I want to go on the potty.”
The next morning, we started the routine again. The first time on the potty was a success. After than, I asked him if he needed to go every hour. Finally when he agreed, he sat down on his soft potty seat. I read to him, distracted him with a song, turned on the faucet so that maybe the sound of water would help… but nothing happened. Not even a tinkle.
And then, just as soon as he walked away, his pants were soaked. I calmly changed his clothes and told him it was okay and reminded him to call me if he felt he had to go.
Later that day, I had just returned from putting a load of laundry in the washing machine when I caught a whiff… a stench…uh oh, he had done a number two.
Noooooo! And oh what a big, messy one.
I swiftly carried him to the bathtub and cleaned him up matter-of-factly. I reassured him that is was okay, it was an 
accident, but he had to use the potty next time.
The accident freaked him out so much that he did not want to go on that potty ever again. Not even the little one. Couldn’t care less about the Diego underwear. He asked to wear a Pull-up.
I felt so disappointed in myself. What did I do wrong? Did I pressure him too much? I was too busy doing laundry, I missed my chance to help him do a number two on the potty.
At my wits end, I gave up. The power struggle, that is.
When I stopped beating myself up, I realized that when he is ready, he will try again.
And he did. In his own time. With a little help to soften his stool as he had constipation issues, he finally faced his fear of pooping on the toilet. And when he overcame that fear, he was on his way. Without any pressure from me.
With my second son, the Destroyer, there was a window of opportunity around 2 years of age. But he would trickle every ½ hour so his body was not able to stay dry very long.
At around 2 ¾, he started showing interest again. He could do #1 on the potty but forget about #2. Just like the boss, he too had some issues with constipation.
Two weeks ago, I decided to go for it. He showed the signs of readiness so I didn’t want to waste anymore time. I stopped putting him in training pants. Every ½ hour I asked him if he needed to go. I reminded him that if he wanted to go to school, like his big brother, he’d have to do pee and poo on the potty. I had the Boss get involved too by showing him how do go potty, wash his hands, etc.
I’m happy to report that within 2 days, the Destroyer was fully potty trained. The lessons I learned with the Boss really prepared me for the Destroyer.
So here are my potty training tips:
2. Wait until they can be dry for more than an hour. If they can’t hold it for longer periods, then their bodies are just not physiologically ready.
3. Ask your doctor. If your kid has constipation, it may be more difficult for them to sit on the potty long enough to have a bowel movement. Ask about natural stool softeners, ie. prunes or even Lactulose.
4. Go shopping and let your child pick out the underwear. They will get excited about superhero or princess underwear, believe me!
5. Set aside a few days to focus fully on potty training so you can be home most of the day.
6. Ditch the diapers and training pants. Let them wear underwear. Even if they have accidents, they’ll start to realize the concept of wet and dry. Training pants are so absorbent, they can’t even tell sometimes.
7. Try a rewards program; give a sticker for every time they use the potty.
8. At night, use a night-time pant but first thing in the morning, take it off and replace with underwear as soon as your child wakes up.
9. If you have to go out, have your child empty his/her bladder before leaving and bring a change of pants and underwear. Don’t be afraid of an accident and opt for a training pant to go out as this confuses them. Once you ditch training pants, don’t go back.
8 Comments
I really love these tips! Hope you don't mind if I share 🙂 I also potty-trained my two over vacations, because you definitely do need the dedicated time in order to accomplish the task! It's all about consistency.
Talk soon!
Natalie @YMCbuzz
This is exactly what we did and it worked like a charm.
Good post, nice blog. Thanks for share useful information. Nice pictures.
Potty training was not a proud moment of mine…I'll admit. But like you, after all the struggles he just figured it all out on his own. I was SHOCKED but thrilled. There has been no looking back.
We are in the process right now with my 3 yr old boy. He is doing awesome but its taking a while. I'm not pushing it–like I feel I did in the past–great tips too!
Thanks for the great tips! Potty training is on our minds here because our little guy is 2.5 years old. I put him on the toilet here and there and he is more interested with playing with the things on the sink. I don't think he is ready yet and I am a firm believer of not pushing. Wish me luck!
An utterly impressive post. You've described your potty training experience in such a readable and enjoyable way. And I'm definitely going to use your tips when we start training my 14mo.
Thank you!
– Stewart
You are brave mother to let them go with out diapers. My boy is almost 21 months old and he is definitely trained for number two, but we still have little issues with peeing. He listens and knows it is wrong, and next time we explain to him, he asks to go to washroom. However, the best parts he picks the moment during his feedings, and he knows well that is his escape from high chair, lol. I think I will be brave like you and just change him to underwear one day, just have to wait when my hubby is not home, lol, so he does not have to know where the accidents were, lol. Thanks for sharing your tips, they are definitely good ones. Anna.