When you’re heavily involved in social media, you will see all types of individuals – those who use it for self-promotion, business sales, friendships… and those who use it to judge and comment negatively on other people.

It can reach a point when you’re almost afraid to express an opinion, even something minor that really isn’t very significant in the larger scheme of things. It could simply be an observation or passing thought that you share innocently, probably naively, on a social media platform – only to be completely ripped apart for it.

Tsk tsk! How could you write/share that?! How horrible of you!!! Soon enough, an entire blog post will be written as a result of your Tweet or Facebook share.

Yes I know, when you put something out there on the internet, the reaction of others comes with the territory of using social media. Of course you’re already filtering yourself before putting something out there because you know the consequences. But sometimes isn’t enough, enough?

Social media is a great tool for non-profits to raise awareness for their causes and issues – also great for passionate people who do use social media for good. But for the everyday person who has no real cause or agenda and uses social media for fun, does everything have to be a cause?

To those who seem to make it their lifetime goal to challenge, judge and comment negatively on others’ perspectives and thoughts: enough with the holier than thou attitudes. I am almost certain that we’ve all been a hypocrite – gasp! – at one point or another in our lifetimes. We’ve all made misjudgements and mistakes.

When you feel that you’re being ripped apart from some holier-than-thou perfectionist know-it-all, debate your heart away, if you wish – or simply walk away.

You will not change their minds – belief systems are deeply rooted. A conversation on Twitter or Facebook won’t make them see your point of view. Sometimes the best way of dealing with negative comments on social media is to be silent.

Those who do seem “above” everyone else in their crusade to prove their righteousness, step back before you decide to comment. Remember that there is someone on the other end of the screen.

To those who feel they are being ‘attacked’ by those holier-than-thou people, remember that sometimes the one who promotes breastfeeding may have a tin of formula in their cabinet. The person who promotes healthy living could be a closet bulimic. The one who advocates cancer awareness also drinks and smokes occasionally. The one who promotes organic everything works for a junk food company.

Knowing that more than likely they have their own flaws should make it easier to ignore the haters. Don’t take it to heart and don’t take it personally.


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of amotherworld.com, a leading lifestyle blog for women.


  1. I don’t engage. If I was comfortable enough to say it online, then I’m comfortable enough to live with my words. going back and forth with someone solves nothing.

  2. I often feel like I can’t or rather don’t want to say how I feel sometimes….fearing that people will launch into me. Sometimes it is just easier to say nothing. People are always so quick to judge, criticize and just be plain mean. I just don’t get it to be honest. Everyone has an opinion and there are certainly ways to have a smart and lively discussion without attacking people for their thoughts and feelings.

  3. I suppose everything becomes a cause because social media is such a great way to get things off yor chest. That being said it is also a way for the trolls and the nasties to come out from under their rocks. If its important to you say something. If the others get abusive disengage. It’s not worth it. Who are they anyway? Use social media for fun, causes, interactions with similar minded person, whatever you wish. Thats really what its there for anyway 🙂 Have fun with it.

  4. Sandy Trojansek Reply

    Thank you for this post. I know that people are entitled to their opinions. I also know that many people use social media for their work/personal thoughts. But I also think there is a time and place for everything. I always go back to something my mom told me when I was younger. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Silence can be golden in certain situations.

  5. Piri Of Intact Marketing Reply

    There is a time for everything. Sometimes, you have to make your voice clear and laud to stand against bullying, for example, or against women’s abuse or if there is something dear and close to your heart. I just thing some people react and write when they are full of emotions. it’s smart to sleep on it. Never say anything when you’re angry, as you might say things you wouldn’t say in normal situations.

    And if you cross paths with plain evil people, who use social media just to step on others, just let it go. Sometimes, it’s not worth the battle. And remember, what goes around , comes around.

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