The other day, I wrote about the fact that I haven’t been blogging much lately.

It seems when you’re a blogger and heavily involved in social media, you can’t help but see what other bloggers and social media influencers are doing. After all we’re inundated with it – as digital writers, editors and bloggers, we spend most of our daily lives online.

With that often comes self-inflicted pressure – to do more, to do better. My guess is that many others can relate to the inner conflict that most of us in the digital space (or in any industry for that matter) naturally battle with – the belief that there are better writers, better blogs, better websites, better bloggers.

Blogs that have more traffic, websites that have more readers, blog posts that receive more comments. Questions like, “Why is she invited to everything?”  “How does her/his site get so much traffic?” “What does her blog have that mine doesn’t?”

STOP right there.

Look away.

You are not doing yourself any service by getting caught up in following what others are doing, and dare I say, being envious of your peers. It’s good to have knowledge of your competition but keep it short and quickly move on.

We often are our own worst critics and let’s face it – we all have characteristics and traits that we don’t often admit, accept or even like to see in ourselves. No one wants to say that they are feeling insecure, having doubts or questioning themselves.

After all, we’re in the digital space – we’re confident, successful bloggers! We’re rock stars on Facebook and Twitter and we get some pretty awesome perks! What we put out to our audience is the only truth they perceive, just a smidge of who we truly are as individuals.

But we ALL have our moments of self-doubt and insecurity – it’s completely normal and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. We can’t be super stars ALL the time you know and we’ll all have our moment to shine.

Stop worrying about what others are doing in the blogosphere/social media space and remember what YOU have to offer – a unique voice that is YOURS.

Own it.

Take a step back and remember how awesome YOU are. Be confident in yourself first and the rest will follow. Whether you’re in social media or publish a blog, the best, most empowering feeling is OWNING your space.

I love that I possess a little corner of the internet, one that is completely mine. It’s a place where I share my voice and my opinions. Not everyone will like my voice or even read my opinions but they can choose to read or not. You are awesome in your own right. You don’t have to be doing what everyone else is doing – that’s what makes you and your voice yours.

Turn it into fuel.

When you do catch yourself starting to turn green, use that energy to motivate yourself to push through to reach your goals. Re-evaluate what you want, reassess where you’re going and have a plan for how you’re going to get there.

Be Proud of Your Voice and Own It!


we don't have to do what everyone else is doing


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of, a leading lifestyle blog for women.


  1. So important, and especially for those who are relatively new to blogging. Don’t try to follow someone else’s path – we all go where we shine our brightest, and there is plenty of light for all. Trying to be someone else just hides your own talents for too long – maybe forever. What a waste.

    • Thank you Jen! You’re right about wasting your own talents trying to be something you’re not.

  2. This. Is. Awesome! I’ve slowly been learning this lesson since day 1 and I feel like I am gaining control of the self doubt. It’s because of the amazing people of the blogging community, like yourself, that I have been able to see how unique my voice really is.

    • Thank you Chris! I’m glad to see that you’re embracing your own voice and gaining confidence in this crazy world of blogging!

  3. Love this post so much! I agree 100% own your space on the net. When you see opps that it seems everyone but you is getting don’t let it get to you. It hard sometimes, but like you said if you take the energy and redirect it towards something positive great things will come your way.

    • I believe that very much. Positive thinking brings positive outcomes. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  4. Nice job… I have been thinking this exactly lately. I have been re-evaluating my place on the internet, the role of my blogs and what I want to get out of blogging. Sometimes I will be honest, I am not sure that there is a point. It is so competitive and sometimes it just feels like there is so much out there that you have to do or say something controversial, extreme, outrageous just to be noticed.

    I love this post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!

  5. Pam @writewrds Reply

    Thanks for this, Maria. You’re awesome! (There’s so much going on online all the time, so much to read, so many social media platforms and channels and rules, I get totally boggled. So I’m uncrossing my eyes now…. : )

  6. Dianne / Smilenwaven Reply

    SO TRUE!! Owning your own space is SO important!! Keep up the GREAT work!

  7. I would love to feature this story on my website, Project: Underblog. We are a writing collaborative that honors small voices in the blogging community. I think what you have to say here is so important! Please email me if you’re interested!

  8. YES! This is excellent. I’m definitely not an A-list blogger, or even a B-list blogger, but A-list bloggers save me a seat at lunch at conferences, and it’s hard not to feel a bit envious at times. I go through the motions a lot on my blog, making attempts to figure out what people want to read, but I’m never right when I try to write something “catchy.” No, it’s whenever I write something very personal and completely honest…that’s when I get the attention I’ve been looking for. I need to remember that. What works for other people will never work for me. You’re right. Be yourself. It’s the only way!

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