You’ve been with your partner for a relatively long time.

Maybe you have kids.

You work, come home, make dinner, clean up and are exhausted by 9pm.  After a while, when the sizzle fizzles, things become… comfortable.

So comfortable that you both use the bathroom in front of each other. Pick a zit off his back. Pluck a grey hair from your chin.

How do you keep the romance alive and kicking when your husband’s favourite hobby is to curl his legs up and hold a lighter to his ass when he farts? Not to say that it isn’t hilarious and you don’t find his silly antics amusing. But his creative gas-releasing talents can only take him so far.

Perhaps you’re not a romantic-comedy heroine either.  Imagine your husband walking in to find you bending over naked, eight months pregnant, attempting to shave your stubbly, swollen cankles. Not the prettiest sight, one that will forever be etched in his memory.

A lot of men out there might have this insane ideal of the perfect woman: one who can work, take care of the house and kids, cook a gourmet meal for dinner and then at 10:00 pm, turn into a porn star. You know the saying, “cook in the kitchen, maid in the living room, whore in the bedroom.”  Whoever said that was a woman hater.  Is there even any realism to that expectation?

After a long day of screaming kids, snotty noses, wiping bums (no matter how cute), you are just dying to squeeze your body into that bustier after a big dinner and your tired, swollen feet into those stilettos so that you can perform a strip-dance for your hot husband, aren’t you?  I know you are.

I guess women think the same – the perfect man is the “hands-on” dad, one who can multi-task, meaning juggle five different things at the same time, take care of the kids, cook, clean and have the charm, wit and good looks of George Clooney, sweeping you off your feet with a mere “hello”.

The only difference between us and them is that while they want you to be a porn star, we want them to turn into that charming gentleman on the cover of our favourite Harlequin novel.

A girl can dream, right?


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of, a leading lifestyle blog for women.

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