Work, kids, dinner, homework, laundry… so much to do, who has the time or energy for sex?

But sex is important. In fact, it’s a huge stress reliever!  Even if you don’t have the time, you must make the time to be intimate with your partner.  Making the effort will pay off.

Here are 15 tips to get in the mood:

1.  Watch a “chick flick” together.  Snuggle up to each other and kiss long and passionately.

2.  Every man and woman want to hear good things about themselves. Even small things that you may think don’t matter can make us feel good.  Tell your partner that you appreciate him/her.  Even take it a step further and tell your partner what you love about his/her lovemaking techniques.

3.  Dress up in black lace or a black silk robe (for men).  Undress each other slowly.  Dress up as a nurse, police officer, whatever turns your crank.  Better yet, meet your partner at a bar and one can “pick up” the other.

4.  Dirty Talk! Talking dirty before, during foreplay and sex will get your partner really going.  Not your style?  Just give it a try – he/she will love it.

5.  You don’t need to learn how to pole dance but doing a few sexy strip-tease moves and teasing your partner a little will definitely get him/her excited. Do this to the sexiest songs of all time.

6.  A great way to relieve tension and get in the mood is by massaging your partner.  If we are stressed or worried about something, it’s harder to relax and get in the mood.  Getting some massage oils and research a few massage techniques that will help her let go of all her worries and be more willing to focus on other things.

7.  Build up the romance well before the sex.  During the day, send your partner a dirty text message.  Tell him/her something that will make them think about what will happen later on tonight.

tips to get in the mood

8.  Write a romantic letter for your partner – or even a sexy note – and leave it somewhere you know he’ll find it during the day.

9.  Be spontaneous.  Nothing beats a fun, spontaneous romp in the sack, hay or wherever you fancy.

10.  Strawberries and chocolate – need I say more?

11.  Watch an adult film together.  It can have a plot line (or not) but there are different “styles” that suit your tastes.

12.  Clean the house. Nothing gets a woman in the mood more than seeing her man help out around the house.

13.  Share a warm relaxing bath with fabulous bubbles and candles.

14.  Make a surprise visit to your partner at work and have a romantic picnic lunch together…  Better yet, lock the door and have sex right on his/her desk!

15.  Switch things up before the bedroom and in the bedroom.  In fact, do something completely different on your date and when you get home, do it somewhere different.  If you need a night away, book a hotel for a romantic escape.


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of, a leading lifestyle blog for women.


  1. This really inspires me a lot and I thank you for the shared post here…It relaxes me a lot…

  2. Adult Sex Toys Reply

    numbers 4 & 7 really work like a charm! I’ll be sure to try out some of the other suggestions on you list! Strawberries and choc? oh yes!! xx

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