by an Anonymous Mom
I don’t want to be a stay at home mom… anymore.
I have been a stay at home mom for about five years now. I love my two children dearly and feel extremely lucky to have been home with them for their early years. I know I should be grateful and I truly am.
But lately I’ve been feeling the itch to get back out into the workforce. Have a job to do other than taking care of my kids and my house. Feel a real sense of accomplishment on the job. Raising kids is an accomplishment too, I know… and I’m responsible for these amazing little lives, guiding them and being their everything. But can I also have something for “me”?
And then I feel guilty about having these feelings. Being home all the time is lonely and isolating, even though I try to keep myself busy. From working in the corporate world to running a household is very different. Instead of running a department, I’m overseeing chores – laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning etc. I feel like my college degree is going to waste. I also crave the financial independence I had before having kids.
How do I know if I could handle going back to work though? Could I handle the commute? School drop offs and before/after school care? Then not having enough time after work to get dinner on the table, spend quality time with the kids even if I’m mentally exhausted from a stressful day.
I wonder if I should just STFU, count my blessings and continue doing what I’m doing?
If I go back to work full-time, I’ll probably miss being at home. Even just a few more years and the kids are a bit older, I could go back but until then I may drive myself crazy. Is the grass greener?
As you can see I’m on the fence because I don’t know if there is such a thing as a happy medium. Has anyone gone through this who is willing to share their experience?
written by an Anonymous Mom
I am a mother to a soon to be 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. I have been a stay at home mom for a year now and hate it.
I love my kids but sometimes I wonder if this is what I really wanted.
When I got married my husband wanted kids and I told him that I wanted kids too but in the back of my mind I wasn’t sure. I feel so alone now.
I have absolutely no friends. I am not close with my husband’s family and I’m not close enough to mine that I want to talk about this with them and I am an only child.
My husband has never helped me with the kids. Only when I worked is when he had to take care of them. I have asked him why he doesn’t help and he said that it was my job. I told him that they are his kids too but he made up the excuse that he works too much.
He recently became self-employed. He is now home more often and working from the house. I now feel like I have to take care of three children.
I will admit that our marriage isn’t the greatest and we have little sex… but mainly because I don’t want it. If I ask him to watch the kids while I run to the store he will make up an excuse why he can’t and often say I will get what you need while I’m out later.
I’ve even gotten up early in the morning before anyone else to go to the grocery store so he wouldn’t have to watch them. He knows that I’m tired of the kids and need to get away for a while but he doesn’t let it happen. If I want to go shopping for the day I have to take the kids to my parents.
We have no babysitters or friends that will watch our kids my parents will only watch them during the day. We have not gone out in 4 years to have our time together. My husband doesn’t like to take the kids anywhere because of the way they act in public. So we never go anywhere. But he thinks it’s okay to go play poker or shoot some pool at night when its bedtime for everyone else.
My kids are making me crazy. I get mad at them for no reason. I don’t want to play with them at times. I leave the TV on most the day so they will leave me alone.
I feel like I have no life. I feel like my husband is holding me hostage so he doesn’t have to take care of the kids.
I’m so unhappy with my life right now. There are so many things I could go on about but I will leave it at that.
AMW Editor: Please let a comment for this mom – it might just cheer her up or help her.