Guest post by Sherri Lee

I have been trying to write this article for days. I have been interrupted more times than I can count. I had decided that I was going to inspire readers with a piece about how a busy mother can still start a business and do it all. However, my feeling of exasperation made me realize that I needed to tell you a completely different story: the motherhood, a love letter.

The Motherhood: A Love Letter

The story of a mother who stands in the shower bawling her eyes out just so she can keep it together in front of her children. Sometimes, she pretends she needs to use the bathroom where she merely needs two minutes of peace to breathe. We lock the door, sit on the toilet, and breathe. We have all done it and it’s okay.

Motherhood is exhilarating and exhausting. Breathe momma, and do not apologize for those few seconds of peace. We all share that yearning for a few moments to ourselves. No one tells us that these little people will come into our lives and steal our hearts forever. We love so deep, so unconditionally, yet we wonder if we can make it through another day. The feeling of exhaustion is overwhelming, but we do it all with our hair in a bun and love to give. 

The Motherhood feels like a burden sometimes.

The mothers who have come before us, they never speak about when the burden feels too great. I know it seems uncanny to refer to motherhood as a burden and it isn’t our little people or the snuggles we get. Rather, it is all the stuff that piles on our backs and slowly becomes such an enormous weight for us to carry. Those burdens can be what feels like the breaking point for many mothers. Society pressures us to get our “baby weight” off and get our figures back after giving birth. We see it in all the advertising where mothers look youthful and beautiful. Usually, they have on the latest fashions and their hair is done. We see painted nails and painted lips. We look at our leggings covered in some smelly substance and our stained t-shirt which makes us feel like a failure.

We are told we must breast feed all hours of the night because that is what is best for our child. Do not forget the nutritious meals three times a day and the healthy snacks in between. The dishes need to be done and the house must be cleaned. How does someone so small make so much laundry? We must consider the soaps we use and the creams we lather those beautiful babies in.  Do not forget to read every label for sugar content, GMOs, and things I cannot even pronounce. Yes, motherhood includes all of these nuisances that can get heavy and feel so overwhelming. 

Finally, we get those babies to sleep and the house is quiet so we tip toe to bed feeling absolutely exhausted. It is always now when we think we are finally in the home stretch for sleep that our partners nudge us because we can’t forget their needs. We are not pregnant anymore so surely, we are ready for a vibrant sex life again. These are the things we don’t talk about and these burdens are not celebrated in our society, but you can bet that every single mother has felt this way about motherhood. Some days it feels just too damn much. Momma do it your way, the way it works best for your family. Quiet your mind and stop listening to everyone else. 

The Motherhood means celebrating the small wins.

Further, we celebrate the small wins when our children are little. The naps, the smiles, and the endless snuggles that always get us through those tough days.  Sometimes we watch them sleep and we smile because they are so beautiful when they sleep. We look at our beautiful creations and feel overwhelming love that only a mother can explain. This is one of those intimate moments we want to bottle and keep for future when they are gone. During this snapshot in time we forget the difficult day we had and we just bathe in the precious feeling of motherhood. 

I loved children before becoming a mother and I thought I had it all figured out. I was naive and there are so many lessons I have learned since becoming a mother. The most important lesson is that in the chaos and the mess lies precious moments. These moments are the foundation of motherhood. The small things become the most important things. Take the time to hear the story or lay on the floor and color. The laundry will wait.

Now momma, you are the sun and the moon for your child so just enjoy it. This stage in motherhood feels long but it will be over in the blink of an eye. Soon it will be a quick hug and your children’s friends will become the utmost importance for them. Let them grow, it means we are doing our job. They grow quickly and we look back questioning where the time went. We are left with the memories. We yearn for them to ask for just one more bedtime story, instead we are left watching the clock hoping they arrive home safely from their night out with friends. 

We realize it is no longer about us, instead it is their time. We just hope that we have done our jobs and prepared them for the world that awaits. It did not take long for me to understand that being a mother now meant worrying about my children for the rest of my life. The burdens of motherhood change, but they stay with us forever. We hope that our children grow to be happy and fulfilled. So, when we wash the floor then they let the muddy dog in, or while we work for a short time and they decide to whittle wood resulting in a cut finger, we stop and wrap their finger, and kiss it better. These are the moments that frustrate us, but later become so important for us. 

The Motherhood carries the weight of the entire family.

Mothers are the most inspirational people I know. They carry the weight of their entire family on their shoulders. The needs of each member of the family is an intimate part of every Mother’s Day. Mothers so often run the household. They fill the fridge, clean the house, pay the bills, and look after the physical and emotional needs of everyone. Mothers are amazing. Many mothers run businesses, go to school, or work full time on top of everything else they do for their families. Mothers are solution seekers that have this incredible drive to carry on despite the obstacles. So, this weekend as my daughter was ill again and I wondered how I could explain how I lost another weekend of writing due to a flu, I realized that in this moment nothing else should matter but cuddling my child and making her feel loved. These are the moments that we must work around because these are the times that our children remember and we can never take back. Not everyone will understand why it is so incredibly important to appreciate the simple things we do that make the world of difference for our children and in the end, bring us peace. 

We fear the moment we will have to say good bye and hope that we have taught them enough to navigate the world. For now, we will be grateful for the precious moments we have with them each day, even the frustrating ones and the burdens they bring. In the end, we will be left with our memories so we need to make the time to make unforgettable ones because really nothing else matters. 

Motherhood is not easy, but it is an incredible journey that only a mother can understand. To all the mothers out there you must know that we share your pain, your love and your deep frustrations and we stand together as a united wall of love embracing and encouraging one another. We inspire one another and those little eyes always watching us. We mothers are the foundation of our families and everything is about the moments we share,

In Love and Light,


By now, you might be weary and tired of the co-sleeping debate but I want to share my thoughts on the CNN fiasco.

Recently my friend Alexandria Durrell tweeted out that CNN was doing a feature about co-sleeping and needed some families to be interviewed.  Long story short, it worked out with our schedules that CNN would come to my house and interview me for the piece.

The segment ended up being called “Extreme Parenting”.  I didn’t know this would be the title of the piece at first, so when I saw it, I had a problem with it.  Perhaps to some, co-sleeping is ‘extreme’ but to me, and many parents, it is absolutely normal.

The report showed three families who co-sleep for various reasons but the bottom line is that it works for them.  However, the expert in the story, Dr. Shapiro, stated that children after two years of age should be in their own beds so they can learn autonomy.

Unfortunately the segment was too short and did not present any of the benefits of co-sleeping.  The expert didn’t offer any real expertise either.  The commentary at the end with Kyra Phillips was also disheartening.  Although she herself is expecting twins, she already has said no to the possibility of co-sleeping.  The reporter, Stephanie Elam, has a seven-month-old daughter seemed to be the only one who was sort of understanding and non-judgmental.

I know CNN was attempting to go the route of “extreme parenting” for ratings but still, it would’ve been nice to show a doctor who would have presented the positive aspects of co-sleeping.

In my house, co-sleeping or bed sharing sort of happens.  The kids usually fall asleep in their own beds but either wake up and come to our room, or one of us goes to theirs.  Often we’ll wake up in the morning and won’t remember how we got there.  It’s a fun game of musical beds and as long as we’re all getting sleep, it doesn’t matter to us.

As for intimacy between me and my husband?  To put it bluntly – we still have it and often!  Do people only have sex right before bed and IN bed?  If so, this is news to me!  When you have kids, you sorta need to get creative! Spontaneity is probably the only way some couples can get any.

Are my kids autonomous?  Heck ya!  They are strong-willed, independent boys who happen to enjoy snuggles.  If my child wakes up and wants mommy or daddy, how can I possibly deprive them of that?

In no time, my boys will be teenagers and I will miss this stage and all the hugs and cuddles.  So I’m enjoying every moment of it while I can.

Read Part One Here


by Alexandria Durrell

We were recently interviewed by CNN regarding our family’s practice of cosleeping. What’s cosleeping? Exactly what it sounds like: we share our sleeping space with the kids. Sometimes it’s all four of us in one bed, sometimes we split off and it’s one parent per kid. Apparently CNN had a difficult time finding families willing to discuss their sleeping arrangements on camera. Why? Because it’s a controversial topic, apparently. Health Canada advises against cosleeping with infants (instead of supporting safe cosleeping), people encourage parents to (as quickly as possible) get kids into their cribs, in their own rooms and “professional” nannies tell us we’re spoiling our children and setting ourselves up for parental failure by sharing a bed with the kids. But here’s how I see things:

Cosleeping isn’t new. Around the world, people have been cosleeping for thousands of years and in many other cultures, it’s just common practice. Though my family prescribes to many of the activities that can be lumped in with “attachment parenting”, choosing to let the kids share our bed wasn’t a conscious decision. We needed sleep, they slept better nestled in our bed… it seemed like the most obvious choice. We were never those stereotypical sleep-deprived, zombie parents of newborns. I found it very easy to breastfeed the kids without disrupting my sleep, and the babies slept soundly near us. There are, of course, safety precautions that must be in place to make this a safe option, and we obviously implemented those. And as my daughter got older, she enjoyed her snuggle time, but then at about age three, chose to have a big girl room of her own.

Extreme Parents and co-sleeping

In the segment CNN aired, three families were shown who cosleep, and one “expert”, Dr. Shapiro. In his moment on air, he said that cosleeping with children over the age of 2 can be “psychologically damaging” because they are not being given “what they need, from the child’s perspective”. Pardon? I’d love to know Dr. Shapiro’s sources for such an outrageous claim. Is he insinuating that children in other cultures are psychologically damaged? Less confident? Less independent? My four-year-old is happy to sleep on her own, but also absolutely loves being snuggled at night. She is independent, confident, intellectually advanced…what more could I really want? It’s my experience that both our kids show great independence, confidence and we’ve had no separation anxiety issues – and I thank cosleeping for that. My personal experience directly contradicts Dr. Shapiro’s “expert” opinion.

Now, I realize that for many people the big deal-breaker with co-sleeping is that it seems like having a child in your bed limits sex. I know that’s what you’re thinking. But I have a second child, so how did that happen? I’ll address is more directly here than I did on air: we have sex in other parts of the house. There. I said it. At other times, in other places. Not everyone goes to bed, has sex, and then goes to sleep. (*gasp*, I know, scandalous, right?)

So now that you know my children are happy, independent and continue to choose to sleep snuggled up to a parent, and my husband and I still get it on, what’s the big deal? Why is this so controversial? We don’t judge parents whose kids sleep in their own cribs/beds/rooms. We don’t actually care what you do in your house. We chose what worked for our family, and we’re proud of our choices.

Our kids are little for such a short amount of time, I just can’t fathom not taking every possible chance to snuggle up to them.

There’s nothing ‘extreme’ about it.


Alexandria Durrell is a supermom to two delightful wee peeps by day (and night, who are we kidding?).  She started the popular kids’ accessories company Clippo.  Visit her website and follow her on Twitter.

This is Part One of a series… stay tuned for Maria Lianos’s take on co-sleeping and the benefits of co-sleeping.