We know that moms are amazing at multitasking and balancing mothering with working. We know that our capes are hanging in our closets. That’s what the media tell us – women can do it all and have it all.

But when articles like this come out, “The Secret of Working Moms” by Leah McLaren in the Globe and Mail, I can’t help but roll my eyes.

While it’s fabulous to hear about how working moms are more productive (actually, privileged women according to the study referenced in the article… that’s another blog post), part of me cringes.

Women can do or not do it all… it’s up to each individual. One is not better than the other.

When I read articles that women need to be doing more, or that working women are more productive, I can’t help but scream STOP. First of all, let’s stop saying we can do it all.

Yes we can do anything – but at what cost?

Putting ourselves last? Adding too much stress to our lives? Risking our health?

Something has to give. Reading these types of articles based on studies can only cause women to feel pressured to do more, be more. Aren’t we enough? Whatever it is that you decide to do, it never feels like it’s enough.

Some other woman is working more hours, or staying at home to raise her kids. Some other woman baked a cake while the other bought one from the grocery store. One mom hosted a Pinterest-worthy birthday party while the other turned the hosting over to Chuck E Cheese’s.

Lately I’ve been feeling the strong need to slow things down. Taking on too much will inevitably lead to burnout.

The adrenaline rush of finishing a task feels wonderful but it also depletes energy. If you don’t take enough down time, you’ll burn out. Time passes us by in a big blur because we haven’t taken enough time to pause and reflect.

This has happened to me time and time again so I’ve been forced to learn this lesson. Something does tend to suffer when you overdo anything. Whwn you so too much. It’s the dreaded” I’m soooo busy” culture we’ve become.

So rather than create more pressure to do more, be more… can we simply be content with living simply?

It’s wonderful to have ambition but some of life’s pleasures and joys come from the ability to slow down, live in the moment and enjoy the simple things.

I hate the pressure that we put on ourselves to do more – because we’re supposed to be great at multitasking and parenting! It’s in our nature!

That’s how I became a “depleted mom” – more on that another time.

My point is this – if you want to stay home and raise a family, that’s good enough. If you want to work, that’s good enough. If you want to do both, that too is good enough.


Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of amotherworld.com, a leading lifestyle blog for women.

1 Comment

  1. Yes, just yes. Being a mother is exhausting and pretending like you have it all together makes it so, so stressful!

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