by an Anonymous Mom

I don’t want to be a stay at home mom… anymore.

I have been a stay at home mom for about five years now. I love my two children dearly and feel extremely lucky to have been home with them for their early years. I know I should be grateful and I truly am.

But lately I’ve been feeling the itch to get back out into the workforce. Have a job to do other than taking care of my kids and my house. Feel a real sense of accomplishment on the job. Raising kids is an accomplishment too, I know… and I’m responsible for these amazing little lives, guiding them and being their everything. But can I also have something for “me”?

And then I feel guilty about having these feelings. Being home all the time is lonely and isolating, even though I try to keep myself busy. From working in the corporate world to running a household is very different. Instead of running a department, I’m overseeing chores – laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning etc. I feel like my college degree is going to waste. I also crave the financial independence I had before having kids.

How do I know if I could handle going back to work though? Could I handle the commute? School drop offs and before/after school care? Then not having enough time after work to get dinner on the table, spend quality time with the kids even if I’m mentally exhausted from a stressful day.

I wonder if I should just STFU, count my blessings and continue doing what I’m doing?

If I go back to work full-time, I’ll probably miss being at home. Even just a few more years and the kids are a bit older, I could go back but until then I may drive myself crazy. Is the grass greener?

As you can see I’m on the fence because I don’t know if there is such a thing as a happy medium. Has anyone gone through this who is willing to share their experience?

Author

Maria Lianos-Carbone is the author of “Oh Baby! A Mom’s Self-Care Survival Guide for the First Year”, and publisher of amotherworld.com, a leading lifestyle blog for women.

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    Try volunteering full time somewhere before you start working. See if you can handle the time away from home and pick/drop kids routine. It will give you a better idea.Good Luck!

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