by an Anonymous Mom
I don’t want to be a stay at home mom… anymore.
I have been a stay at home mom for about five years now. I love my two children dearly and feel extremely lucky to have been home with them for their early years. I know I should be grateful and I truly am.
But lately I’ve been feeling the itch to get back out into the workforce. Have a job to do other than taking care of my kids and my house. Feel a real sense of accomplishment on the job. Raising kids is an accomplishment too, I know… and I’m responsible for these amazing little lives, guiding them and being their everything. But can I also have something for “me”?
And then I feel guilty about having these feelings. Being home all the time is lonely and isolating, even though I try to keep myself busy. From working in the corporate world to running a household is very different. Instead of running a department, I’m overseeing chores – laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning etc. I feel like my college degree is going to waste. I also crave the financial independence I had before having kids.
How do I know if I could handle going back to work though? Could I handle the commute? School drop offs and before/after school care? Then not having enough time after work to get dinner on the table, spend quality time with the kids even if I’m mentally exhausted from a stressful day.
I wonder if I should just STFU, count my blessings and continue doing what I’m doing?
If I go back to work full-time, I’ll probably miss being at home. Even just a few more years and the kids are a bit older, I could go back but until then I may drive myself crazy. Is the grass greener?
As you can see I’m on the fence because I don’t know if there is such a thing as a happy medium. Has anyone gone through this who is willing to share their experience?