My Child is Scared to be Alone in the House

A: Not knowing the age of your son, I can’t comment as to whether his fear is typical or not. However, I can respond in a more general way about children and fears. Anxiety and fear are one of the most common concerns that children exhibit and also very common issues that parents seek assistance for so as to help their children and themselves.

Since you talk about your child being scared to be alone in the house, I’m thinking that he must be around the age of at least 10 or 11 – the age at which some children are okay and capable of being left alone. However, not every child is.

Perhaps he’s been exposed to images on television or movies that have caused him to be more afraid of intruders, for example. Some children (and adults) are more prone to feeling anxious – especially if there is a family history. It’s important not to undermine his feelings or make him feel that his emotions are immature.

Instead, acknowledge what he is feeling and ask what you can do to make him feel safer. Perhaps he is not ready to be left alone, and that is okay. However, not being able to go to the bathroom alone or always wanting someone close by may be indicative of anxiety that can cause difficulties in other parts of his life – especially if he is older.

In this case, speaking to a therapist who can help him overcome some of his fears, may be advisable. CBT (or cognitive behavioural therapy) is often recommended and sometimes, medication if the anxiety is very severe.

Sara Dimerman is a psychologist in the Toronto area who has provided counselling to individuals, couples and families for more than twenty-five years. She is the author of four books – two for parents and two for couples – the most recent of which is “Why Married Couples Don’t Have Sex….at least not with each other!” and is a columnist and podcast producer/host for sites and print media across North America and internationally. She is a regular guest on radio and television and is interviewed frequently for articles online, in newspapers and magazines. Sara is married and has two daughters. Visit Sara‘s website: www.helpmesara.com or follow her on twitter @helpmesara.