by Danielle Christopher
I am sitting in my closet that I share with my husband, crying.
Looking at the large purse collection on my side of the closet makes me ache. I have not sold or given away many purses since I can remember collecting them. I can’t give any of the remaining up. Now I realize which is the reason for my shaking while crying.
For years I obsessed over purses. I would rather adorn the latest trend of arm candy than the latest clothing style. I would window shop and covet any bag that caught my eye especially on Mother’s Day. It brought me such an exhilarating high.
My mom loved purses. I still have a few of hers in boxes. When I really miss her, I take them out for a moment. I can only bring myself use one when I go out. It is still too hard.
I figured it was genetics explaining my obsession for the reason why I love purses. I even worked for the head office of the local purse shops that my mom would buy at.
I smell the sweet leather and feel the sleek finish of my purses. The ache of missing my mother lessens. I begin to see a different side of my purse obsession. Not only does it bring me closer to her, it fills a void in my heart.
Now being a mother of two daughters I keep my purses tight to home. I already have relinquished a few to my oldest daughter who is five years old. In a way, it is the legacy for them to know the grandmother they will never meet.
For me, my purse collection tells many stories from my mother’s prom to when I purchased a post-diaper bag purse. They hold a history and bring happiness through the sadness. Stories I will share with my daughters and pass the love of their grandmother who appreciated a good purse.
When I miss my mother the collection brings me calmness in the loneliness. I did not know my mother for long. The visual and feel of my purses bridges the gap in my heart even for a moment.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom – wherever you are.
Danielle Christopher is a stay-at-home mom of two daughters and a freelance writer. Her teen story is in the collection “Parent/Teen Stories: Without Judgement”. She lives with her husband of seventeen years and her girls in Langley, B.C.. Follow her on Twitter.