I’m tired. Actually, I’m exhausted. I’m sure all you moms out there feel exactly the same way and can empathize with me.
In my situation, my little one is still waking up at night. Not just once or twice – I could handle that! I’m talking four, five, maybe six times a night. And Spikey (my baby’s nickname because he has the coolest spiky hair) is almost a year old.
In my last entry, I mentioned that I have to break Spikey’s habit of night waking and nursing. I’m trying to wean him from breastfeeding and feel I’m making a bit of progress.
But the problem is at night. Most of the time, the only way to get him back to sleep is to nurse him.
For me it’s always felt very natural to nurse him to sleep. He’s never taken to a bottle or pacifier, not even a stuffed animal. I tried teaching him how to suck his thumb like the Boss but he refused. When he was younger, he found comfort in snuggling up to blanket, but now he only wants to snuggle up to my boobs.
I can’t use the Ferber method – I can’t do it! It’s a personal choice. I’m an Attachment Parenting believer. Responding to him when he’s crying or distressed just feels right to me and I always like to go with my instinct.
I found Elizabeth Pantley’s book “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” very helpful and I’m still trying the techniques on Spikey. I used them on the Boss and they did work although you have to be very persistent and it took several weeks to see results.
I pick my battles with my boys and sleep isn’t really one of them. I don’t have a problem helping my children fall asleep! I know some of you might be gasping in horror and pointing your finger with a “tisk tisk”. And I know that some books and experts that say you should let babies learn to fall asleep on their own. Yes of course I’m doing the whole bedtime routine thing… but it’s obviously not working. It did when my kids were infants only… before they learned to manipulate!
What better place is there for a baby to fall asleep than in the arms of their mommy or daddy? Where it’s warm and secure?
When Spikey wakes up during the night, I love taking him into bed with me and I’ll nurse him back to sleep most of the time. Once he dozes off, I’ll wait about ten minutes until I know he’s entered a good sleep phase and then sneak him back into his crib.
I have no problems with co-sleeping. I did it with the Boss and for some reason it worked out well for a while but with Spikey, I find I can’t sleep well at all. I should invest in a king-size bed.
There was a time when Spikey would sleep six hours straight and I was able to get a nice deep sleep. But around six months, he started waking up every two hours again. Teething was at fault, but it may have become habit for him to wake up. A bit of separation anxiety is to blame too.
The Boss would pop his thumb in his mouth to soothe himself but he would still wake up at night. The lil’ bugger. His sleep patterns really improved after he turned two when he could sleep straight for nine hours.
Which means I have to wait another year or so before I can get a full night’s sleep! Arrrggh!
In the meantime, I’ll put the pot on and make another cup of coffee to keep me going and dream of the day when my kids are teenagers and sleeping in until 11am so that I can sleep in too!
But when that day comes, I know I’ll think back and remember when my babies woke up at night and wanted me to hold them… I know I will miss those cuddly nights… so for now, I’m going to enjoy and cherish them while I can.
Maria LC
Articles I found interesting:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070800.asp
http://www.nospank.net/fleiss2.htm
http://www.babycenter.com/400_why-is-my-baby-suddenly-waking-up-during-the-night_505519_1000.bchttp://www.todaysparent.com/baby/sleep/article.jsp?content=855842&page=1
1. Crying doesn't hurt him.
2. My mom used this method on me and I don't remember it doing me any harm because it didn't and I am super close with my mom, hence, there are no side effects of letting my child cry.
3. I was a psychology major in university and quite simply, they cry because they know a reward is coming. If a rat can figure that out in a psychology experiment then babies can, too.
4. Once there is no more reward (Mommy or Daddy hug) he won't find the point in waking or crying.
Having said that, I completely understand that you need to do what feels right to you. Good luck to you and I hope sleep comes soon,.
I couldn't use the cry-it-out method either.
The most important thing is that you're both getting sleep so whatever works for you.
Good luck!
We weaned a month ago and now I am finally getting some sleep at night after having to wake up every night 5 times and nursing him back to sleep.
The book didn't help me much, or maybe I didn't have the patience for it, but I am right with you on the ferber method:) Hope it gets better soon, and if not, hang in there it will get better!